


I Hate Everything About You (Why Do I Love You?)

by Betweenthelines5



Series: Love Feels Like War [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artist Clarke, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Fine Stud Lexa, G!p Lexa, Idiots in Love, Jealous Lexa, Love/Hate, Protective Lexa, Slow Burn, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-08-31 08:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8570722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betweenthelines5/pseuds/Betweenthelines5
Summary: Clarke Griffin hates Lexa Woods with a passion; at least, that's what she tells herself to keep from falling for someone that she knows will just break her heart in the end. 
They aren't meant to be soulmates.
This isn't supposed to be happily ever after.
Until they are and it is.





	1. Heart On The Floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be every Monday and Friday if possible. 
> 
> Thanksgiving week might be a little different because I will be out of town but other than that the schedule will pretty much stay the same. 
> 
> There won't be a specific time of release but I will always try to have the chapters out by 10PM East Coast time.

Fuck.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

Clarke knocked the offending item off of the counter and into the trash can, unable to look at it any longer; all mocking and life-ending. Honestly, at this point, what else could possibly go wrong? Clearly whatever higher-power there was had a personal vendetta against her because shit like this just doesn’t happen to normal people, not when they’ve already been through hell and back.

“Griff, where you at?”

“Give me a sec, Rae.” Clarke says through the bathroom door. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Ugh, fine.” Raven says dramatically, “I’ll just wait; not like we have an awesome party or anything to go to…”

“It’s six o’clock, dumbass.”

“Okay, hurtful.” Raven says, “Someone’s grumpy. Did the Commander not fuck you…"

Clarke swings the bathroom door open, giving Raven a dirty look, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Oh, shit.” Raven says, eyes lighting up at the thought of drama. “Details, bitch!”

“I’d rather not.” Clarke says, tossing her hair into a messy bun. “Where’s O?”

“Downstairs with Lincoln.” Raven says, waving her off. “So, back to Lexa. What happened?”

“Nothing happened, Rae.” Clarke says, pulling on a jacket. “Everything is fine.”

“Right.” Raven says, obviously not believing her. “You’ll get wasted and tell me, I can wait.”

“I don’t think I’m gonna drink tonight.”

Raven, who is halfway out the door of Clarke’s bedroom, pauses, turning to look at her, “Say what?”

“I’m not really in the mood.”

“OCTAVIA!”

“Don’t yell, god damn it, I’m right here.” Octavia says, coming to a stop at the top of the stairs, Lincoln following close behind. She looks at Clarke, “What’s wrong? You look like something’s wrong.”

Clarke rolls her eyes, “For fucks sake, I’m fine.”

“Lexa didn’t fuck her right.” Raven says, “Turns out the Commander isn’t as perfect as we thought. I don’t know whether to be disappointed for Clarke here or happy that the all mighty Heda is terrible at something.”

“She’s not- She’s not terrible.” Clarke says, running a hand over her face in irritation. “I just…”

“I uh, I know you three love to talk about stuff like this but Lex is my cousin and I’d rather not discuss her sex life.” Lincoln says, his chin coming to rest on Octavia’s shoulder.

“So, if it’s not the sex.” Octavia says, ignoring her boyfriend. “What is it?”

“Oh my God.” Clarke throws her hands up in defeat. “I’m. Fine!”

“Liar.” Raven says, giving her a once over. “We’ll let it slide this time but I promise you, O and I here will find out the truth. Make no mistake.”

“Can we just go?” Clarke asks.

“Jasper and Monty are waiting for us, so yeah.” Octavia says, eyeing Clarke for a moment longer before making her way back down the stairs, “I’ve been craving one of their brownies, holy shit.”

“Gonna suck when your season starts and you won’t be able to have any.” Raven smirks, “Should’ve listened to me and stuck to something low key. Not only do I not get surprise drug tests but I get to blow shit up, it’s a win-win.”

“You’re also paralyzed.” Octavia says, sliding into the passenger’s seat. “Don’t act like you weren’t a soccer whore like me before your accident.”

Raven flips her off, “Dick move, Blake.”

“You love me.” Octavia says, sticking her tongue out at the brunette.

“I don’t know why.” Raven mumbles as she starts the engine.

“Linc says Lexa’s gonna be there.” Octavia says, turning in her seat to look at Clarke. “Let us know if you’re planning on hitting that this time because I don’t want to walk in on that again.”

“I don’t even know how that position was possible.” Raven says, “Like, damn.”

Clarke groans in frustration, “I hate you both so much right now.”

0o0o0

“You should drink.” Anya says, nudging her cousin in the ribs. “You look stressed.”

“I’m not stressed.” Lexa says, “I’m just not really feeling it tonight.”

“Look, there’s tons of pretty girls around here.” Anya says, motioning to the crowded living room in her house, “I’m sorry Clarke hasn’t talked to you this week- and you can give me that look all you want to but we all know you don’t hate her- besides, she’s fucking other people too, why can’t you.”

“I don’t want to?”

“Since when does the ‘Commander’ stick to one woman?” Anya asks, “She must really treat your dick right, if you aren’t looking for anything on the side.”

Lexa pushes the other girl into the wall, “I’m not a whore, An.”

“Just a player, same difference.” Anya says, “Anyways, Raven told me they’re stopping by tonight so maybe you’ll see her? I know you two have this weird love-hate type thing going on but maybe it’s time to tell her the truth.”

“What is that exactly?” Lexa asks, an eyebrow raised in question.

“You want her for more than just sex.” Anya says, taking a sip of her beer. “This has been going on for the past six months and everyone can see that’s it’s more than that. You’ve gotta stop being so afraid of getting hurt and take a chance, Lex; she’s not Costia.”

“You don’t know that.”

Anya sighs, “I want you to happy, alright? At least think about it.”

“I’m not the only person she’s sleeping with, you know that.” Lexa says, taking Anya’s cup and downing the rest of the alcohol, “I should probably just cut my losses before I fall deeper into a hole I won’t be able to get out of. It’s not like I’m in love with her, so it should be fine, right?”

“I love you but you’re an idiot sometimes.”

“Thanks for the support.” Lexa says sarcastically, “I know I can always count on you.”

“Anytime.” Anya says, taking the empty cup back from Lexa. “Go get your own next time. Oh, The Delinquent’s just walked in. Gotta go!”

Lexa looks towards the front door, her breath catching in her throat when she spots Clarke, blonde hair and blue eyes standing out above the crowd. Green eyes meet blue and before Lexa even has time to react, to put on her facade and walk over to the younger girl, she’s gone.

“She’s in a mood tonight.”

Lexa turns her eyes away from the retreating blonde to find Lincoln standing next to her, “What?”

“Octavia and Raven think something’s wrong with her.” Lincoln shrugs. “Girl stuff, I guess.”  

Lexa nods, “Oh, uh, that sucks.”

“You don’t have to act like you don’t care about her.” Lincoln says, pulling his cousin into his side. “You might have some people fooled but I know you care about her.”

“You sound like Anya.” Lexa frowns as she crosses her arms.

“Well, we are twins.” Lincoln says, nodding towards the other room. “Go talk to her.”

“I will…” Lexa says. “Later.”

Lincoln gives her a look, “Really?”

“She just got here, I don’t wanna bother her.”

“Since when has that every stopped you.”

“I don’t like you.” Lexa huffs. “You’re an asshole.”

“Your favorite asshole.” Lincoln says. “You can let your guard down sometimes, you know. We're only human.”

0o0o0

Clarke sighs in relief as the last of the people disappear from the den, leaving her alone for the first time that day since she found out about the pregnancy. To be honest, she wouldn’t have even come if it hadn’t been for Octavia and Raven already thinking something was wrong; add the fact that she’s not drinking and her two best friends would’ve figured it out in an instant. It wasn’t that she was worried about telling them; she trusted them more than anything in the world but telling them would mean that the situation was real and she wasn’t ready to face that yet. Besides, the baby’s… other parent could barely stand her unless she was inside her (or so she thought) and that alone made her want to forget that any of this was happening.

“Since when are you the silent broody type at parties?”

Clarke looked up at the familiar voice, her eyes widening slightly before she remembered how the two of them acted towards each other, “I’m not really in the mood right now, Woods.”

“You’re drinking water.” Lexa points out, leaning up against the door. “That’s new.”

“I’ve had a really shitty day, okay? I kinda just wanna be alone.”

“You’re at a party.” Lexa deadpans, “That’s clearly not gonna happen.”

Clarke rolls her eyes, “If you think I’m gonna end up fucking you, you’re wrong.”

“I… uh…” Lexa pauses; this isn’t their usual game. “I’ll just go.”

“You do that.” Clarke says, waving her off. “You’re the last person I want to see.”

Lexa tries to ignore the ache in her chest, “You don’t have to be such a bitch all of the time, Clarke. Maybe some people actually want to see how you’re doing without them having an ulterior motive.”

“Right.” Clarke laughs bitterly, “You just want me to suck you off, Lexa. You don’t have to play nice, we don’t do that. If you’re that desperate, there’s tons of girl’s upstairs who I’m sure would be more than willing to give you what you want.”

Lexa shakes her head in disbelief, “We might only be fuck buddies but that doesn’t mean I don’t still care about your well-being. Excuse the hell out of me for wanting to make sure you were alright; it won’t happen again.”

“Lexa…”

“Don’t.” Lexa says, holding her hand up to keep her from talking. “I’m done. I’m sick and tired of you always treating me like shit, I don’t deserve it. I agreed to this because your dad was seriously ill and you were going to through a hard time but enough is enough. Besides, don’t you have like three other people lined up? You’ll be fine.”

“Fuck you.” Clarke spits angrily. “You don’t know me.”

“Of course I don’t.” Lexa says, pulling on her leather jacket. “Have a good night, Clarke.”

“I really hate you.” Clarke says, her voice wavering as she blinks back tears. Damn hormones.

Lexa looks at Clarke for another moment before turning on her heel and heading back up the stairs, nearly running Octavia over during her exit. “Watch where you’re going, Blake.” She growls before disappearing out of sight.

“What the fuck is her problem?” Octavia asks, focusing on Clarke, “Hey, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” Clarke wipes the tears quickly from her eyes. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“You’re not fine.” Octavia says, coming to sit next to the blonde. “What’s up? Did you two have a fight? Not like that’s nothing new but you know what I mean.”

“Like I give a shit about her.” Clarke bites. “She’s horrible.”

“You don’t mean that.” Octavia says, starting to rub her best friend’s back. “I know you like her as more than a fuck buddy, Clarke. You don’t have to lie to me.”

“I don’t- I don’t like her like that.”

“You light up at the mention of her name.” Octavia begins, “You’re always talking about how careful and sweet she is during and after sex and you always smile like a fucking idiot when she sends you a text. She must not be that horrible because you’ve kept her around.”

“It’s complicated.” Clarke mumbles, voice barely above a whisper.

“How so?” Octavia asks “We already know you two are sleeping together. What’s the problem?’

“She’s Lexa Woods.” Clarke says, as if it’s obvious. “I just…”

“Bull shit answer, Griff.” Raven says, stumbling down the stairs. “You can lie to everyone else but us, we see right through you. Cut the shit, tell us the truth.”

Clarke starts playing with her fingers nervously, unable to meet her eyes, “I messed up…”

“What’d you do?” Octavia asks, “Did the Commander knock you up?”

Clarke stays silent.

“OH FUCK!” Raven yells, tossing her beer to the floor, all cares forgotten as she quickly sobers up. “Wait, shit, really? You’re sure? You took a test and everything? Like there’s a baby Griffin?”

“Will you keep your voice down!” Clarke hisses at the brunette. “I’d like to keep this information between the three of us if that’s okay.”

“You gonna tell her?” Octavia asks.

“I don’t know.” Clarke says honestly, “She thinks I’ve been sleeping with three other people so technically I could lie and tell her it isn’t hers.”

“Who else are you sleeping with?” Raven asks, confused.

“No one.” Clarke admits. “I don’t know why I told her that but I did and… Fuck, I’m screwed.”

“She has a right to know, Griff.” Raven says, “She might be an asshole to every single person on the face of the planet but she still deserves to know about any offspring. You know, so she can take care of her spawn.”

“Don’t call it that.” Clarke says, somewhat defensively.

“Aw, you’re already so protective of it.” Octavia coos, “This is the greatest news! I promise, Lincoln and I are going to be the best damn Godparents ever!”

“Um, excuse you?” Raven shoves Octavia roughly. “Who says your going to be anything other than Auntie O? Even that’ll be a stretch while I’m around.”

“The baby isn’t even the size of a golf ball yet, guys.” Clarke says. “We have plenty of time to decide who is going to be who, okay? I’ve barely had five hours to process this, please don’t make me worry about anything else right now.”

“Fine.” Raven says; she glares at Octavia. “Clarke’s gonna pick me.”

Octavia slaps Raven’s shoulder, “Shut the fuck up, Rae.”

“Well, we know it’s true.”

Clarke sighs in defeat and stands up, “I’ve had a pretty terrible day; I think I’m just gonna go home and sleep for the rest of eternity.”

“You gonna be okay?” Octavia asks, all joking aside. “Want me to drive you?”

“It’s like a ten-minute walk.” Clarke says, zipping up her hoodie. “I’ll survive.”

“Text us when you’re home.” Octavia says, pulling her oldest friend into a hug. “Call if you want to talk, okay? We’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“Yeah.” Raven nods in agreement. “We’ll be baby daddies if you want us to be, no problem.”

“Talk to you tomorrow?” Clarke asks, checking the time on her phone.

“I’m gonna have a hell of a hangover.” Raven says, “I’d be down to meet for breakfast.”

“I’ll call you in the morning, then.” Clarke says. “Be safe.”

“Always, Griff.” Raven says, a smirk forming on her face. “Unlike someone we know.”

“RAVEN!”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it!” Raven said, holding her hands up in defense as Octavia lunges across the couch at her. “Stop! Ow! No! Oh, come on! When would I have ever had another chance to say that? Get off, asshole!”

“Don’t kill each other.” Clarke tells them before heading up the stairs. She says a quick goodbye to Monty and Jasper before sneaking past Bellamy and out the front door, heading down the sidewalk back to her house.

0o0o0

“Aden, shut the fuck up.” Lexa growls, throwing a pillow at her younger brother. “No, I don’t give a shit about the new Star Wars movie. Leave me alone.”

“You’re in a horrible mood, Lexie.” Aden says, coming to sit next to his older sister.

Lexa glares at him, “Don’t call me that, Augustus.”

Aden cringes, “Point taken. So, what’s the matter?”

“I’m fine.” Lexa says through gritted teeth, “Don’t you have somewhere to be, it’s Saturday.”

“Nope. Atom and Echo are on a date and Murphy is at some party tonight.” Aden says, “I’m free until Monday. All yours, sis.”

“Murphy is a terrible influence, Aden.” Lexa says. “He’s also three years older than you.”

“We’re playing video games, Lexa. Not dating; don’t be so dramatic.”

“Dad’s actually home for once.” Lexa says. “Go bother him.”

“He locked me out of the office.” Aden states. “Told me to go play; does he not know how old I am? What fifteen-year-old do you know that goes to play?”

“I don’t think he meant it in the literal sense.” Lexa says, rolling her eyes at her brother. “I love you and any other day I would have no problem spending time with you but I’d really like to be alone tonight. Can we do something tomorrow?”

“You gonna bail on me?”

Lexa shakes her head, “Of course not.”

Aden stands up and heads towards the door, “I hope your okay, Lexa.”

“I’m fine, kid.” Lexa says, waving him off. “See you in the morning?”

“Bright and early.” Aden says, giving her a giant smile. “Goodnight.”

Lexa falls back onto her bed as the blonde haired boy shuts the door; she can’t seem to shake off the feeling that something was seriously wrong with Clarke. Sure they fought all the time but this was different; Clarke looked like she honesty couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her and that hurt Lexa more than she would like to admit. She knew their relationship, if you could even call it that, wasn’t perfect but she thought they at least cared about one another. Obviously that wasn’t the case.

Nearly fifteen minutes later when Lexa’s half-asleep she feels her phone vibrate in her pocket. She thinks about ignoring it but it goes off several more times so she gives in and takes a look at the new messages from Anya:

Anya (10:57pm): _Lexa, where the fuck are you?_

**Lexa (10:58pm)** : _I’m at home. Trying to fucking sleep._

Anya (10:58pm): _This is important._

Anya (10:58pm): _Clarke’s pregnant._

Lexa stares at the message, unable to move. Clarke, pregnant?

Anya (11:04pm): _Lex? Look, I went to find Raven because she was pretty wasted and I overheard Clarke telling her and Octavia that she was pregnant. I didn’t hear anything else because fucking Linc pulled me back upstairs but this is serious! That bitch!”_

**Lexa (11:15pm):** _Good for her._

Anya (11:16pm): _Seriously, that’s it? I’m coming over._

**Lexa (11:21pm)** : _I just wanna sleep, An. Can we talk about this tomorrow?_

Anya (11:22pm): _Fuck no! Lexa, this could be your baby! Don’t you want to know?_

**Lexa (11:25pm):** _There’s like a one in four chance, Anya._

Anya (11:32pm): _I don’t really care. I’m here, be up in a minute._

0o0o0

“You’re home early.” Jake says, looking from the television to his daughter, a smile on his face. “You feeling okay, kid?”

Clarke feels tears well in her eyes; the thought of telling him about how much of a fuck up she is, overwhelming her. “Uh, yeah, I’m fine. Just really tired for some reason.”

“You’re a liar.” Jake says, patting the empty space on the couch. “Come here.”

Clarke tosses her jacket onto the stairs, planning to grab it on her way up later. She kicks off her shoes next to the door before making her way into the living room where she curls up next to her father, taking comfort in his presence, “Your team sucks this year.” She says, nodding towards the screen.

Jake playfully shoves her away, “Take that back!”

“I can’t.” Clarke says, a smile forming. “Especially when it’s the truth. Seriously dad, they’re playing Kentucky and they’re losing? I’d be ashamed to be a fan if I were you.”

“You just don’t understand football, honey.” Jake says. “They might not be doing their best this year but they’ve held their own and that’s all that matters.”

“They lost to LSU.” Clarke says, matter of fact. “Like, really? That’s sad.”

“You can’t be my daughter.” Jake says, shaking his head as he presses the mute button on the screen. “We must have taken home the wrong child from the hospital because I know damn well you are not disrespecting the Bulldogs.”

Clarke shrugs, “Maybe if they played a better season…”

“I don’t know whether to disown you or praise you for knowing your stuff.” Jake says. “I’ll give it to you this time because we aren’t playing our best but next season, it’s so on.”

“Right.” Clarke says, dragging out the word. “Mom still at work?”

“Just left.” Jake says. “Got home, got paged not even five minutes later. Multiple car pile up on the freeway, pretty bad from what I heard. She’s probably gonna be there until tomorrow night; you know how she is with her patients.”

“Always thorough.” Clarke says. “I feel like I haven’t seen her in weeks.”

“Yeah, well, she’s really busy with the buyout.” Jake says. “Things will calm down in a bit.”

“At this rate I’m worried she won’t make it to my graduation.”

“Believe me, she will.” Jake says. “Do you honestly think she’d miss an opportunity to gloat about you to all of our family and friends? Never in a million years.”

Clarke rests her head on his shoulder, “I think I’m gonna go to bed.”

“You sure?” Jake asks. “I’m gonna be up for a while.”

“I’m exhausted.” Clarke says, “It’s been a rough day.”

“Too much homework from Kane?” Jake smirks. “God, it must be so hard being a teenager.”

“You’re an ass.” Clarke says, pressing a kiss to his cheek before standing back up. “I’m meeting O and Rae for breakfast tomorrow so don’t worry about making something for me.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” Jake says, giving her a wink. “Night baby girl, get some sleep. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Clarke says, making her way towards the staircase.

0o0o0

“You’re gonna confront her, right?” Anya asks. “Like Lexa, this could be _your_ kid. How fucking awesome is that?”

Lexa runs a hand through her hair; they’ve been talking about the same damn thing for the past hour, “Anya, just stop, okay? You’ve had like four beers tonight; you might not have heard her right.”

Anya rolls her eyes, “I’m barely even buzzed; I know what I heard. By the way, who the fuck tells their friends they’re pregnant at a party where anyone can walk in at any time? So stupid.”

“The possibilities of it being my child, _if_ their even is one, is extremely low.” Lexa says, “You know that.

“Well, don’t you wanna know?” Anya asks, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “So there’s other people involved but that doesn’t mean you’re out of the equation just yet. You still have a chance.”

“I’m not gonna call her tomorrow and force her to tell me.” Lexa says, “If she is pregnant and she feels like she wants to tell me, she will.”

“You hope she will.” Anya mumbles. “Look, I know you’re terrified of getting hurt again but this could be your ticket to happily ever after with her, Lex! You’d be stuck with her for at least eighteen years!”

“We’re not even out of high school, Anya, nor are we together.” Lexa says. “This is not a decent situation for anyone. Clarke’s waiting to hear back from Polis U to see if she got her scholarship and I’ve got plans to play soccer there in the fall. A baby will only get in the way.”

“If she’s pregnant and it is yours.” Anya says, ignoring Lexa, “Will you ask her to terminate it, to put it up for adoption?”

“It’s her decision.” Lexa says, trying not to put too much thought into something she doesn’t know is true. “You’re jumping ahead.”

“You have to think about this shit!” Anya says. “And no, it isn’t just her choice, you have a say in this too.”

“Can we stop talking about it?” Lexa asks, clearly having had enough. “I’m exhausted and just want to sleep. I’ll deal with this when and if something comes out of it.”

“You’re being a coward.”

Lexa raises an eyebrow in question, “How in the fuck…”

“You know I’m not lying or ‘wasted’ to have made something like that up.” Anya said. “I might be a bitch but I wouldn’t do that to you. Like you’ve said, it might not be yours, but you’re gonna have to prepare just in case.”

“If she just told her two best friends that must mean she just found out herself.” Lexa says, “I’ll at least give her a few weeks to see if she brings it up to me, if she doesn’t then I’ll think about confronting her about it.”

“There’s the Commander I know and love!” Anya says, patting her shoulder roughly. “Enough of this sappy sad shit, it isn’t you. You’re a badass, remember? Or, let’s be honest, you try to be.”

“Fuck you.” Lexa says, “So, are you gonna leave now or?”

“Course not.” Anya says, throwing herself dramatically on top of Lexa. “I’m pretty comfortable at the moment.”

“You have a girlfriend less than five miles down the road who I’m sure would love this a lot more than me.” Lexa says, pushing the smaller girl off. “Go visit her.”

“She’s with Octavia for the night and ‘significant others’ aren’t aloud.”

“You think I’m disgusting and sappy?” Lexa laughs, “You need to take a look in the mirror, you make me want to throw up.”

“You’re just upset that your baby mama yelled at you today.”

“She’s not- She’s not my anything, Anya!” Lexa says, slamming her in the face with a pillow, “If you’re gonna stay in here I’m gonna need you to please shut the hell up. We have practice in the morning.”

“You’re gonna run us to death, aren’t you?”

“Yep.”


	2. This Could Be Heartbreak

Lexa watches as Clarke runs out of the room of their first period class, Octavia and Raven close behind her, for the second time that week. She knows she shouldn’t care but it’s been nearly three weeks since they’ve spoken to one another and the entire situation, if there actually is one, is tearing her apart. They might not be in the best place or even acknowledge each other at the moment but Lexa thought that Clarke would’ve at least had the decency to tell her the truth about their possible problem.

“Twice this week.” Anya says, a smirk on her face. “Karma’s a bitch.”

Lexa rolls her eyes, “She might have the flu or something.”

“You are in such denial that it’s pathetic.” Anya says, shaking her head. “You just don’t want to believe it because once you do it becomes a reality.”

“It’s been three weeks, An.” Lexa says, turning to face her cousin. “I’d like to think that if Clarke knew about something as important as a child she would be adult enough to tell me.”

“Clarke Griffin, an adult?” Anya snorts. “Yeah, okay.”

“Can we just drop it?” Lexa asks. “We’ve talked about this for weeks and I’m just so done with it. Until I hear otherwise from Clarke, I have no reason to be worried about anything.”

“If I were you and I was told that the person I’d been sleeping with got knocked up I’d want to know as soon as possible so I could prepare myself,” Anya says. “She’s already like two months in and…”

“I will handle this how I want to.” Lexa says, interrupting her with a sharp glare, “I get that you’re trying to look out for me but I can’t deal with this right now. I’m not gonna stress myself out over nothing, alright? I believe Clarke will make the right choice.”

“Whatever.” Anya says, crossing her arms over her chest. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you when she throws this on you last minute and expects you to just drop everything for her.”

“She’s not a bad person, she wouldn’t do that.”

“Lexa, it’s exactly something she would do!”

“Just let it go, Anya.” Lexa says, grabbing her bag from off the floor; she quickly stands up “I’ll see you at practice.”

“Where are you going?” Anya asks.

“Home.” Lexa says, “I’m sick of talking about this; all I want to do is forget about it for five minutes but I can’t do that with you around because you won’t shut the hell up about it. I love you but respect my wishes and don’t bring it up again unless there’s a reason for it.”

“Ugh, fine.” Anya growls. “Sorry.”

“See you this afternoon.” Lexa says as she adjusts the strap of her bag. “If I’m late start the drills without me. We have a game Friday and I’m not really in the mood to lose again.”

“Anything for you, _Heda_.” Anya says sarcastically.

Lexa goes to say something else but decides against it when Anya turns away from her, focusing her attention back on her school work. She makes up a bullshit excuse to dismiss herself from the class to her teacher before making her way out of the classroom and towards the double doors that’ll lead her to the student parking lot.

She tries not to think about the look Clarke gives her as they pass one another in the hallway on her way out. 

0o0o0

“She won’t even acknowledge you, that bitch!” Raven says, turning her attention back to Clarke once Lexa disappear. “The fuck, man.”

“Well in her defense Lexa has every right to be upset.” Octavia says, ignoring the glare Raven sends her way. “Clarke’s been giving her the silent treatment since the party; can you honestly blame her?”

“Uh, yeah!” Raven says, “Griff’s carrying her child, the least she could do is pay some fucking attention to her. I know she thinks she’s the shit and all but damn, have some respect for your baby mama.”

“Raven, for the tenth time, she has no idea.” Clarke says, as they pause just outside their classroom door. “Besides, I’m the one who snapped at her; it’s not like she's acting like this out of nowhere. I deserve it.”

“So what, she got her feelings hurt?” Raven rolls her eyes. “Some badass; can’t even handle rejection, like suck it up. Damn.”

“I really don’t know how Anya puts up with you.” Octavia says. “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, but my tongue does wonders.” Raven says, wiggling her eyebrows.

Octavia’s face scrunches in disgust, “You’re disgusting.”

“Anyways, let’s get back to you.” Raven says, focusing her attention back on her best friend. “You decided whether you’re gonna tell her or not? I mean, I totally understand if you don’t, she’ll probably bail but…”

“Lexa’s not like that.” Clarke and Octavia says at the same time.

Raven gives them a look, “Really?”

“Linc and I always spend time with her and she’s pretty cool.” Octavia says, “I have no doubt she would kill me if I crossed her but her whole badass thing is just an act. She’s actually pretty nice.”

“Anya says she’s a bitch and they’re cousins.” Raven says, “Come on, Clarke, you’ve told us countless times how horrible she is to you.”

“I’m just as bad, guys.” Clarke says, leaning against one of the lockers as another wave of nausea runs through her. “I provoke her most of the time.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Octavia says, “Whatever the two of you had in the past is over and done with; whether you’re in love or not is the least of your concerns. Right now, all that matters, is this baby. You might not want to tell her because you’re scared of the outcome but trust me when I say she’ll do the right thing.”

“I’m not ready.” Clarke admits. “I still haven’t told my parents yet and I want to tell them first.”

“You’ve told all of us, Clarke, and now your parents?” Octavia sighs, “How do you think Lexa is gonna feel when she finds out you told so many people before her. She should’ve known before anyone else.”

“I’m handling this how I want to.” Clarke says, “When I’m ready to tell her I will but until then I deal with this my way.”

“She has commitment issues.” Raven says, “You might tell her and let’s be honest, she’ll probably bail because we all know she’s too into herself to care about anyone else. Which I’m totally not opposed to because my Godchild deserves the best of the best and I highly doubt she can give it that.”

“You’re impossible.” Octavia says; she glances at Clarke, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Clarke says, taking a deep breath to try and calm her stomach. “I just don’t think I’m ever gonna get used to this; it’s been like a month and I already feel like my body isn’t my own.”

“Maybe next time you’ll think twice about using protection.” Raven sing-songs as she bends down to adjust her brace.

“I really don’t know why we’re friends.” Octavia says.

“You’d die without me.” Raven says, “Besides, if we’re ever in some kind of apocalypse you know I’m the only one who would be able to save us.”

“I have faith in Monty and Jas, too.” Clarke says with a shrug. “Then again, they’re always high, so I’m not sure that’d be such a great idea.”

“See!” Raven smiles triumphantly. “You love me.”

“Yeah, okay.” Octavia says, “Come on, I still have to finish the test.”

“Always the model student, O.” Raven says, “Such a suck up.”

“Maybe I need to actually pay attention, Reyes. If it’s okay with you I’d like to keep playing soccer and I can’t do that if my grades fall behind.”

Raven waves her hands in dismissal, “Excuses, excuses.”

“I’d punch you in the face if I didn’t have morals, ya know, you being crippled and all.” Octavia says, laughing as Raven glares at her.

“You get one more, Blake and then I’m gonna destroy you.” Raven says, heading into the classroom. “I know where you live.”

“Believe me, I know, you’re always there.”

“You sound like that’s a bad thing.”

Octavia slides into her seat, “I’d just like to come home from school one day and my leftovers from the night before to still be there.”

“Do you two ever stop arguing?” Lincoln asks, coming to sit on the edge of Octavia’s desk, “I swear it’s like it never ends.”

0o0o0

Over the next week and a half Lexa starts to notice little things about Clarke; it takes her a few days to realize it but once she does she can’t help the jealousy that rises in her chest. No matter where Lexa turns she always seems to find the blonde surrounded by ‘The Delinquents’, whether they’re walking her to class while holding her books like she’s unable to do so herself or freaking out over every possible thing in her path that could hurt her in the wake of some drastic event. It’s not that she wants to be in their place (well, she does) but it’s been nearly a month since the two of them have talked and Lexa would be lying if she said it wasn’t starting to get to her, especially when Clarke is acting like everything is just fine.

“Watch yourself, Woods.”

Lexa, who’s so lost in thought, doesn’t even feel the impact until she’s stumbling a few steps back. There’s a moment of confusion before she realizes that Bellamy is standing before her, Clarke tucked securely into his side, “What the fuck, Blake.”

“You need to watch where you’re going.” Bellamy says, using his height to his full advantage as he takes a step towards her. “You think you run this place but you don’t; stop acting like it.”

“It was an accident, Bell.” Clarke says, pulling on his arm. “Please, stop.”

Bellamy stares at Lexa for a moment, “Stay away from her.”

“Get out of my way.” Lexa says through gritted teeth; she clenches her fists against her thighs, “Don’t fuck with me, you won’t like the outcome.”

“Like I’m terrified of you.” Bellamy laughs, gathering the attention of several students around them. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Bellamy, that’s enough.” Clarke says, pulling harder on his sleeve.

“No.” Bellamy glances back at her momentarily before focusing his attention back on Lexa. “Somebody needs to deal with her.”

“She hasn’t done anything.” Clarke tries again. “Seriously, come on; she’s not worth it.”

Lexa’s eyes snap to Clarke, “You didn’t think that when I was fucking you.” And she knows it’s a low blow but she’s just so fucking hurt and she refuses to let her fellow classmates see her break. “Quite the oppo …”

Bellamy’s fist connects with her jaw before she even finishes her sentence, cutting her off, “Don’t talk about her like that.”

Lexa spits the blood in her mouth onto the the tile floor, her eyes hardening as she glares at Bellamy, “Our business is none of your concern.”

Clarke pushes past Bellamy, her focus on Lexa, “Shit, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Clarke.” Lexa says, wiping the remaining blood on her sleeve. “Not that you care, you’ve more than proved that you don’t.”

“What the fuck is- Bell, what did you do?” Octavia asks, making her way through the crowd to stand between the three of them. “Oh my God, did you seriously hit her? Are you an idiot?”

“She deserved it.” Bellamy says, shrugging his shoulders.

“I don’t care.” Octavia says, looking at Clarke, “You really let him hit her? What did she even do to you?” She walks over to Lexa, “You alright?”

Lexa nods, “I’m fine, Octavia, I can handle my own.”

“Lexa, I’m really sorry…”

“It’s fine.” Lexa says, waving Clarke off; she’s in no mood to have a conversation with her and to be honest, she just wants to go home and drink herself into oblivion. “Touch me again, Blake and I’ll break every single bone in your body.”

“Lincoln’s at practice, want me to grab him?” Octavia asks, following after the brunette. “He’ll take care of my brother.”

“No, I don’t need anyone to fight my battles for me.” Lexa pushes the door open for them to walk through; she’s always had a soft spot for Octavia, the girl wasn’t that bad. “I’m good.”

“You’re a liar.” Octavia says, moving out of the way of the football team as they make their way to the parking lot. “I know Clarke hasn’t talked to you in a while but I just want you to know that she’s dealing with a lot of stuff at home and…”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me.” Lexa says, unlocking her car, “We aren’t even friends, we just fuck on occasion, that’s all.”

“Well, I’m still sorry she’s been shitty towards you.”

“Like I said, it’s whatever.” Lexa says, tossing her backpack onto her backseat. “I have better things to worry about.”

Octavia rolls her eyes; she knows she’s full of shit, “Yeah, right. Whatever you say, Commander.”

0o0o0

“How was school?” Jake asks Clarke as they sit down at the kitchen table for dinner; he hands her a plate.

“It was okay.” Clarke tells him as she takes a sip of water, trying to ignore the wave of nausea that washes over her as her mother sets the table. The smell alone makes her feel like she wants to throw up.

Jake, already shoveling things onto his plate, frowns at her, “Bad day?”

“I just haven’t been feeling well.” Clarke says, voice quiet.

Abby stares at her a moment, concern evident in her features, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“I, uh…” Clarke pausing, taking a deep breath; she wants to tell them but she doesn’t really know how. “I think it’s just a cold or something.”

“I’ve heard you upstairs a few times this week.” Jake says, “Sounded pretty rough, kid.”

“Wait, you’ve been throwing up?” Abby asks, her eyes narrowing. “How long has this been happening, Clarke?”

“A few weeks.” She mumbles, unable to meet their eyes.

“What?” Abby asks, having not heard her.

“A few weeks.” Clarke says, more clearly this time.

“I don’t think that’s normal.” Jake says, looking to Abby, “Right?”

“No, it isn’t normal.” Abby says, glancing at him momentarily before returning her full attention back on their daughter, “You have seemed pretty off lately. Why haven’t you talked to us?”

Clarke plays with her fork nervously, “I didn’t know how.”

“Honey, you know you don’t have to keep things from us.” Jake says, resting a gentle hand on her arm. “We’re always here for you.”

“You aren’t sick, are you?” Abby says, her expression unreadable. She stares at Clarke for a second before continuing, “You’re pregnant.”

Jake’s eyes widen in surprise as he looks between the two women, his grip on Clarke faltering a little, “What!”

“How far along are you?” Abby asks, getting straight down to business.

“I don’t know.” Clarke says, “Like ten, maybe eleven weeks.”

“Wait a second.” Jake says, holding his hand up to silence them. “Just hold on a damn minute; what do you mean you’re pregnant?”

Clarke tears up; she’s usually able to keep her emotions in check but when it comes to her parents it’s a different story, “I’m sorry, daddy.”

Jake feeling terrible about his outburst, pulls her into a hug, holding her tightly against his chest, “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Don’t cry, we aren’t angry.”

“Accidents happen, Clarke.” Abby says honestly; she moves to sit next to her, intertwining their hands together to try and give her some comfort, “Have you made an appointment? What about the father, have you told him?”

“Give her a second, babe.” Jake says, eyes his wife.

“No, it’s okay.” Clarke wipes her nose as she sits back up. “I have an appointment next with with Dr. Niylah and no, I haven’t told them.”

“May I ask who it is?” Jake asks tentatively. “For the love of God, just please don’t let it be that Finn boy, I can’t stand him.”

“Jake!”

“What! It was just a question.”

“It isn’t Finn, dad.” Clarke says and she can’t help but smile when he dramatically sighs in relief. “It’s… It’s Lexa Woods.”

“Like, the daughter of Michael Woods, the CEO of Trikru Industries?” Jake asks, “I’ve always heard rumors about her but I didn’t know if they were true or not. Now we know.”

“Yeah, that’s her.” Clarke says, resting her head on Abby’s shoulder.

“Are you gonna tell her?” Abby asks.

Clarke shrugs, “I don’t know.”

“She has a right to know.” Jake says, “Look, I don’t know what your relationship with her is like but you have to think about this baby’s well being above everything else.”

“I’m scared.”

“You have a right to be.” Abby says, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You’re both so young and this is a life-changing situation but avoiding it is only gonna make things worse. It’s better to just get it over with.”

Clarke nods, “I know, I just…”

“It’s okay to be terrified of rejection.” Jake says. “I mean, I’ll kill her if she doesn’t do the right thing but your mother is right, you have to tell her.”

“I will.” Clarke tells them. “I just need more time.”

“Don’t be selfish, okay?” Abby says. “Lexa deserves to be apart of this just as much as you do. Don’t take that away from her because you’re worried about the outcome.”

“So, have you decided what you’re gonna do?” Jake asks.

“No, not yet.” Clarke admits. “I’m supposed to start the art program at Polis U next fall but I don’t think I can do that with a newborn baby.”

“Why not? There’s always babysitters and nannies; we wouldn’t have a problem helping you out.” Abby says. “Campus isn’t that far from here and we could turn the spare bedroom into a nursery for you. I’m not saying you have to keep this child but if you want to, we’ll accommodate you.”

“We’ll support whatever decision you make.” Jake says, nodding his head in assurance. “You’re our daughter, we love you, no matter what.”

“Thank you.” Clarke says, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Jake hands her a tissue, a dopey grin on his face, “Just as long as the kid doesn’t come out supporting the Panthers everything will be fine.”

0o0o0

“Lexa, what the hell, are you drunk?”

“N- No.” Lexa stutters; she looks up at Lincoln. “Hello.”

“Oh my God, what’s the matter with you?” He asks, crouching down in front of her. He notices and empty bottle of vodka beside her and he shakes his head, “It’s barely six in the afternoon.”

“I don’t…” Lexa laughs drunkenly, “I don’t really care.”

“Come on.” Lincoln lifts her up from off the floor and sits her on the edge of her bed, “You gonna tell me why you’re getting wasted on a school night?”

“Clarke hates me.” Lexa slurs, “All I did was try to take care of her, you know? I mean, I know I was the- the best but I tried really hard.”

“I know you did.” Lincoln says, slapping her cheek gently. “Hey, stay awake, I need to get you some water so you won’t such a hangover tomorrow. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” Lexa says, falling back onto her bed; she starts humming absentmindedly. “Clarke has beautiful eyes, like, they’re so blue.”

Lincoln walks back into the room, setting the glass of water on the night stand before pulling Lexa back up into a sitting position, “Here.” He hands her the glass of water, “No, Lexa, I don’t want it, it’s yours- there you go.”

“That smile, oh, it makes me melt every time.” Lexa says “Have you ever heard her laugh? I swear it’s- it’s like- what are those things that fly? Angels! That’s it. Yeah, she’s an angel.”

Lincoln laughs loudly at Lexa’s drunken state; he loves when she’s like this. “Yes, Clarke is wonderful; you tell us all the time.”

“She hates me though.” Lexa pouts as she hands Lincoln the empty glass. “Did you hear? She’s pregnant and it might- it might be mine!”

“That explains it.” Lincoln says, “So, that’s why you’re drinking, she told you about this today?”

Lexa flat out laughs at that as she shakes her head, “Of course not, silly! Anya told me forever ago! Clarke won’t even talk to me!”

“How does Anya know?” Lincoln asks, confused.

“She over- overheard them.” Lexa says, tears filling her eyes. “Clarke hates me and all I want to do is love her. She’s so perfect.”

“Hey Lex, can I borrow… Um, is she drunk?”

“Yep.” Lincoln tells Aden. “Michael here? He’ll kill her.”

“No, he’s in Tokyo for the month.” Aden says, coming to sit down next to his older sister, “You feeling okay, Lexie?”

“Aden!” Lexa yells dramatically as she pulls him into a hug. “I’ve missed you so much! Did you know.” She pauses, momentarily forgetting what she was gonna say “That you’re a really great brother, like the best?”

Aden pats her back; he looks at Lincoln, “Um, what’s going on?”

“Lexa’s had a bad day.” Lincoln says, “Just let her have it.”

“Does this have something to do with Clarke Griffin?”

“Uh yeah, actually. How’d you know?”

“Everyone in school knows they’re sleeping together.” Aden says, matter of fact. “Not to mention Lexa goes on and on about her all the time.”

“Do not!” Lexa says, poking Aden’s cheek. “You have such soft skin!”

Aden rolls his eyes, “She’s gonna be in a mood tomorrow.”

“She’s always in a mood, Aden, what’re you talking about.”

“Well, that’s true.” Aden agrees. “You know what I mean though.”

“Just make sure she drinks tons of water.” Lincoln says, standing up. “I’ve gotta get going but text me if she gets too out of control, alright?”

“Don’t leave.” Lexa mumbles, half asleep on Aden, “Everyone leaves.”

“I’ll be back later.” Lincoln says, situating her on the bed; he throws the covers over her, “Be good for Aden and get some sleep, alright?”

“I’m not tired though.”

“I don’t care.” Lincoln says, taking her phone from off the nightstand and giving it to his younger cousin so she doesn’t end up texting anyone, “You’ll fee a lot better.”

“Yes sir!” Lexa goes to salute him but ends up stabbing her eye, “Fucking ow!”

“Good luck, kid.” Lincoln tells Aden; he heads towards the door. “Have a good night, Lex, I hope you feel better.”

“Linc, wait.” Aden follows after the older boy, “Should I be worried?”

“Nah, she’ll be fine.” Lincoln says honestly. “If it happens again though, let me know. We don’t need a repeat of sophomore year.”

“ADEN!”

Aden sighs, “Needy son of a bitch.”

Lincoln laughs, “Some badass Commander, right? Can’t even handle her liquor. Go see what she needs; we don’t need to spend the rest of the night in the ER because she fell down the stairs.”

“I’M HUNGRY!”

Aden reluctantly heads back up the stairs and back into his sister’s bedroom, “What do you want?”

“Turn the light off.” Lexa says, “It’s burning my eyes.”

“You’re always so dramatic.”

“Thank you.” Lexa sing-songs happily. “Aden?”

“Yes Lexa?”

“You're my best friend, did you know that?" 

It’s gonna be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me at so-far-from-heaven-now.tumblr.com, I follow back. You can always message me for updates and such.


	3. Something's Gotta Give

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be on Monday's and Friday by at least 10PM East Coast Time.

“Clarke, sweetheart, come here.” Jake calls from his study.

Clarke, who’s across the hall in her art studio, tosses her paint brush onto the newspaper covered floor before making her way into his office, “Yeah?”

“Sit down, please.” He motions to one of the chairs, a smile on his face.

“O-kay.” Clarke stares at him in confusion for a moment before sitting down across from him, “What’s up?”

“Lexa. Have you talked to her yet?” Jake asks, adjusting his glasses; he leans back in his chair to get more comfortable, “It’s been a few weeks, kid.”

“No, I haven’t talked to her.” Clarke says as she picks up one of the pens laying on his desk, toying with it nervously. “I haven’t really seen her.”

“You go to school together, Clarke.” Jake says softly. “You’ve got your first appointment in a few days and don’t you think she’d like to be apart of that? I understand that you’re worried but you’re strong enough to do this.”

“I don’t even know how to tell her.” Clarke mumbles.

“What are you so afraid of, honey?” He asks gently. “Yeah, she might reject you and this baby but that’s not enough to not tell her the truth.”

“I…” Clarke pauses, trying to get her thoughts in place. “We’ve had a rough past not to mention we can barely spend five minutes together without one of us starting an argument.”

“I think that it’s more than that.” Jake says. “From what I understand you’ve been… involved with her for a while now. I know you think acting like you don’t care is going to solve things but it’ll only make it worse in the end. So, what is it? Are you afraid that she’s gonna reject the baby or you?”

“Why would I care if she…” Clarke pauses as the older man gives her a knowing look. “I know I shouldn’t be treating her like this, she doesn’t deserve it. We agreed that we would be nothing more than…”

Jake grimaces, holding a hand up to stop her, “I’m still your father and I’d rather not here about your extracurricular activities if you don’t mind.”

“Sorry.” Clarke says, a blush creeping on her cheeks. “I just, I can’t get hurt again. Not after everything with Finn; he nearly destroyed me.

“Believe me, I remember.” Jake says, “Hated that mother fucker.”

“Dad!”

“What? You know I’ve never liked that boy.” Jake says. “Honestly, what did you ever see in him? He was so awful to you.”

“He was nice for a while.” Clarke says. “I’m not the only one who fell for it.”

“We’re straying from the topic at hand.” Jake says, straightening up in his chair. “Whatever there is or isn’t between you and this girl doesn’t matter. You are bringing life into this world whether you like or not and its time for you to face the real world. Lexa has every right to know.”

“I know that…”

“Do you?” Jake asks, an eyebrow raised in question at his daughter. “You don’t think I’ve not overheard Bellamy and Raven trying to talk you out of it? I’m sure they know more about her than I do but this is still her child and she should have the option to be involved.”

“They’re just looking out for me.” Clarke says, trying to defend them.

“Are they really?” He asks. “You know I think of them as my own, sweetie, but sometimes they’re a little overprotective of you. This arrangement you had was between the both of you and it’s like they seem to forget that you’re not innocent in this either. You’re both equally guilty.”

“You’re normally the fun parent.”

“I am and will always be fun.” Jake states, matter of fact. “But I’m a father and if you’re mother every did to me what you’re doing to Lexa, I’d be pretty upset. You’re almost eighteen, it’s time to act like it. You can still be angry and hurt but you have to do what’s best for that baby.”

“I don’t even know why I’m so angry with her.” Clarke admits. “From the very beginning she’s been real with me and all I’ve done is lie to her.”

“Learn from your mistakes.” Jake says, “Believe me, I did some stupid things in my youth that I wish I could take back but I can’t. It’s not too late for you though and you know it. You can fix this; it’s not gonna be easy and I’m sure she’ll be pretty pissed at you but give her time, alright?”

“How do I even apologize for all that I’ve done?” Clarke asks. “I’ve chosen my friends over her time and time again; I’ve let them walk all over her.”

“You can stop it.” Jake says. “They listen to you.”

“We haven’t spoken in a month.” Clarke says, “We both said some horrible things to each other the last time we talked; what if she won’t talk to me.”

“Just give it some time.” Jake says, “Don’t push her though, okay?”

Clarke nods, “Thank you, for being here for me.”

“Always.” Jake says, giving her a megawatt smile.

Clarke stands up, stretching as she does so, “I’ve gotta go finish my art project, it’s due soon.”

“Remember what we talked about, alright? You can do this.”

“I hope so.” Clarke says, walking over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m here if you ever need me, kid.” Jake says. “Never forget that.”

0o0o0

“Thank God.” Octavia says, sighing in relief. “Who knew it would only take the mighty Jake Griffin to get your head out of your ass.”

“You know; I really love how supportive you’ve been throughout this.” Clarke says, glaring at the brunette. “I appreciate it.”

“I’ve been very supportive, Griffin.” Octavia says, “That doesn’t mean I’m not gonna tell you when you’re being the biggest idiot on the planet.”

“She has her reasons.” Bellamy says from across the table.

“Ignore him.” Octavia says, waving in her older brother’s direction.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about her, about Lexa.” Clarke says, grabbing the attention of the entire table. “I’ve been really shitty towards her and I’ve only let you encourage me.”

“Hey, we’re innocent!” Jasper says, his mouth full as he motions between himself and Monty. “Why are we being reprimanded?”

“You aren’t.” Clarke says, rolling her eyes at him. “I’m just not gonna ask you guys to leave because of it. You’re in the clear.”

“This should be fun.” Murphy smirks from beside Bellamy; he looks at his best friend, “I think you’re in trouble, dude.”

“Fuck you.” Bellamy says, kicking him roughly.

“Seriously, we need to talk about this.” Clarke says, glancing between Bellamy and Raven, “I know you don’t like her but whether you like it or not she’s this baby’s other mother and I can no longer keep her out of it’s life.”

“You have like nine months before it’s born, Griff; she technically doesn’t have to know until it’s actually here.” Raven says, shoveling a handful of fries into her mouth.

“You cannot be that stupid.” Octavia says, slamming her head onto the table. “Raven, I swear to God.”

“Well it’s true!” Bellamy adds. “I mean honestly, Clarke, do you really want someone like her to father your child? She’s treats you like your just another notch on her bedpost.”

“No, she doesn’t and she isn’t the baby’s father.” Clarke says, “Lexa has always treated me with respect; you seem to forget that we always say stuff to each other.”

“Yeah, but you don’t mean them!” Raven says.

“She might not either.” Octavia says. “You don’t know her.”

“Pick a side and stay on it, Blake.” Raven says, “You can’t keep switching back and forth, it’s not cool!”

“I’m not- I’m not picking any sides, you dumbass.” Octavia says. “I’m just saying that we don’t really know Lexa all that well but Clarke does; I don’t think she would have kept things up with her for this long if she truly thought she was an awful person.”

“Maybe the sex was just too good to quit.”

Clarke flips Murphy off, “I hate you.”

Murphy shakes his head with a laugh, “I highly doubt that.”

“Oh my God.” Clarke says, exasperated. “We’re not focused!”

“Say what you were gonna say, then.” Bellamy says, his eyes narrowing at her. “Tell us all about how you’ve seen the error of your ways, that you’ve been so horrible to her for no reason at all and that she deserves to be forgiven just like that.”

“Bell, I love you, you’re like a brother to me.” Clarke says, missing the way his face falls when she says that, “But this is my life and my baby, I have to do what I think is best for us. This isn’t about me anymore.”

“But…”

“Every since I told you I was pregnant, the two of you.” She motions to Bellamy and Raven, “Have made me believe that she really is a terrible person because that’s all you ever talk about. It’s stressful. When I decide to tell Lexa about this baby, I need you all to get along with her or it’s gonna make everything ten times worse.”

“I’m not gonna stand by and watch her hurt you.”

“That’s not your job, Bellamy.” Octavia hisses. “Put your feelings to the side for one fucking minute and think about what it’ll do to that baby if all you ever do is bring down it’s mother.”

“If she even stays.” Raven murmurs.

“You had not right to hit her yesterday.” Clarke says, ignoring Raven to look at Bellamy. “It was totally uncalled for you.”

“She walked into you!”

“Exactly, she walked into me.” Clarke says, “She didn’t hurt me or threaten me or do it on purpose, it was an accident.”

“Maybe she should watch where she’s walking.”

“Do you care about me?” Clarke asks.

Bellamy looks at her, eyes wide, “Yeah, of course!”

“Leave her alone.” Clarke says, “You can’t keep interfering with things you know nothing about, alright? I can handle Lexa on my own.”

“Clarke, I don’t…”

“Promise me.” Clarke says, “Promise me you’ll leave her alone.”

“I- I- Ugh, fine.” Bellamy growls, slinking further into the booth. “I promise I won’t fucking bother Lexa Woods anymore even though she deserves it.”

“I guess I can be decent too.” Raven mumbles, knowing Clarke is about to come for her next. “I’m not gonna be her best friend but I guess I could calm down on all the shit I say. If she hurts you though, I’ll kill her.”

“Thank you.” Clarke says, feeling a weight lifted off her shoulders. “I love how much you guys care about me but it’s time I deal with this by myself.”

“I think I’m gonna head out.” Bellamy says, sliding out of the booth.

“Bell, you can’t seriously be upset with me.”

“I just think you’re being naïve about this.” Bellamy says, “You think Finn was bad but Lexa’s probably so much worse. Then again, it’s your fault you’re in this situation because you don’t know how to keep your legs closed.”

“Hey man, that’s not cool.” Murphy says, getting up himself. 

Clarke starts to tear up, “I… Bell, I’m sorry.”

“Save it.” Bellamy says, tossing a twenty-dollar bill onto the table. “You can fuck up your life all you want but don’t say I didn’t warn you. For the sake of that kid, I hope your right; I hope Lexa does what’s best.”

“Go home.” Octavia says, “You’re being a dick.”

Murphy pushes Bellamy out the door, “Come on.”

“He’s just upset.” Octavia says, resting a comforting hand on the blonde’s knee, “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Clarke says, taking a deep, shaky breath to calm herself, “I’m really tired, I’m just gonna go home.”

“Griff…”

“It’s okay, Rae, really.” Clarke says, getting up. “No harm done.”

“See you tomorrow?” Octavia asks.

Clarke nods, “Of course. Goodnight.”

0o0o0

Clarke watches Lexa from her locker, blues eyes trained on the tan soccer captain as she talks to her cousins down the hall. Octavia and Raven spent half the morning trying to encourage her but they soon realized they were only making it worse and decided to leave her alone. Bad idea. She feels bile rise in her throat, her hands shaking discreetly at her sides; she wants to run and hide, to avoid this at all costs but that isn’t an option anymore.

With a final thought of encouragement, she slowly makes her way through the crowds of people until she’s standing several feet away from her target. Green eyes meet her own and she freezes.

“Clarke.” Lexa says and she tries not to melt at the way she says her name. “Do you need something?”

“I… Uh…” Clarke shoves her hands in her back pockets, watching as Lincoln and Anya silently agree to leave them alone. “Can we talk?”

“I’ve gotta get to class.” Lexa says, her voice sharp.

“Please, it’s really important.” Clarke tries again. “Just five minutes.”

“Not right now.” Lexa says, opening her locker and tossing her leather jacket inside; undeterred by Clarke.

“Lexa, it can’t wait.”

Lexa sighs, turning to face the blonde, “You haven’t spoken to me in a month and now you want to? No, that’s not how it works, Clarke. You can’t just pick and choose when you want someone in your life.”

“It’ll only take a…”

“I said no.” Lexa says, mentally patting herself on the back for being able to stand up to the other girl. “Just leave me alone.”

Clarke stares at her, mouth agape in shock.

“Whatever was in the past is done and over with.” Lexa says, although she knows it couldn’t be farther from the truth. “We ended things, that’s all.”

“Lexa, let’s go!” Anya yells from down the hall. “I’m hungry!”

“See you in class.” Lexa mumbles in passing as she heads in the direction of where her cousins are waiting for her.

“You just got shot down.” Murphy smirks from behind Clarke.

“She hates me.” Clarke whispers.

“Yeah, she does.” Murphy says, always truthful. “Lexa’s pretty chill though, just give her some time to come around.”

“What if she doesn’t?” Clarke asks, wiping a stray tear on her sleeve.

Murphy shrugs, “Her loss, then. Come on, let’s go to the library.”

“What about everyone else?” Clarke asking, motioning to the cafeteria.

“Do you really wanna be asked a million questions right now?”

“Not really, no.”

“It’s settled, then.” Murphy says, taking off in the opposite direction, not bothering to check and see if Clarke’s following behind him.

“Thanks.” Clarke says once they’re at a table, “You know, for this.”

“You act like I saved your life or some shit.” Murphy says, kicking his feet onto the empty chair beside him, “It’s just the library, Griffin.”

“You know what I mean.” Clarke says, giving him a look. “I needed this.”

“Yeah, our group can be hard to handle sometimes.” Murphy says, taking a bite of his sandwich, “You’re pretty cool though.”

“That’s the closest I’ll ever get to a compliment, isn’t it?”

“Probably.”

“I’ll take it, then.” Clarke says, smiling triumphantly when she steals one of his grapes. “God, I could live off these.”

“I thought grapes were like the enemy of the world. What’s different about them now?” Murphy asks, “You hate them.”

“I’m pregnant.” Clarke states, short and simple. “Don’t ask questions.”

0o0o0

“You ignored her all day?” Anya asks, clearly proud. “Good for you!”

“She deserves a taste of her own medicine.” Lexa says, “I mean, I know I’m gonna have to talk to her eventually because if there is a chance that it is my baby, I’m gonna be there for it. Nothing will keep me from them.”

“Aw, you’re gonna be a mommy!” Anya says, squeezing Lexa’s cheeks. “My little Lexie is growing up. I could cry!”

“First off, fuck you.” Lexa says, removing her cousin’s hands from her face. “Second off, don’t ever do that again or I’ll break your hands.”

“Bitch, come at me.” Anya says, a smirk playing at her lips. “Well, at least she’s trying to talk to you. That’s a good sign though, right?”

“It still took her a month to tell me.” Lexa says, “That’s inexcusable. I don’t care if we were in an argument or not, I deserve to know. Just think about all that I’ve probably missed so far. It’s not fair.”

“No, it isn’t.” Anya agrees. “Clarke doesn’t seem to care though.”

“I know.” Lexa pauses, “Fuck, I’ll be back.”

“What?” Anya asks, a look of confusion on her face.

“I forgot my jersey.” Lexa says with a sigh. “Go on up, I’ll be right there. Have the team run a few suicides until I get up there.”

“Am I excluded?” Anya asks.

“Fuck no.” Lexa says, “You have to run an extra five.”

“Hey, don’t be a dick!”

“You know I’ll run them too.” Lexa says, heading back in the direction of her locker. “Give me ten minutes, I promise!”

“Fuck off.” Anya says, making her way to the double doors that’ll lead her to the field. “You’re the worst captain ever!”

Lexa rolls her eyes at the comment, knowing her cousin is only joking as she continues the walk back to her locker. She arrives nearly a minute later and just as she’s about to grab what she needs out of it, it’s slammed shut, nearly crushing her fingers. “What the fuck.” She snarls, glancing up to see Bellamy glaring down at her, “Seriously? What now?”

“Clarke’s upset.” Bellamy spits. “Because of you.”

“Just because I wouldn’t talk to her?” Lexa laughs. “That’s mature.”

“You think it’s okay to fuck around with people’s feelings? Use them only when it’s convenient for you?” Bellamy shakes his head in disgust. “I don’t know what Clarke ever saw in you, you don’t deserve some like her.”

“What went on between Clarke and I is our business; I suggest you stay out of it.” Lexa says, “You can go now, thanks for stopping by.”

Bellamy slams his fist into a locker, “I’m not done.”

“See, I think that you are.” Lexa says, shrugging off her leather jacket and tossing it to the floor. “I told you to leave me alone.”

“Not everyone listens to you, Commander.” He says sarcastically, his jaw clenching. “God, you think just because you have a dick you’re special.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely it.”

“Go fuck yourself, Woods.”

“Alright, I guess we’re doing this.” Lexa says and before Bellamy even has a chance to react she has him up against her locker; her knee to his crotch. “You seem to forget that we’re both adults and that childish antics are no longer acceptable, Blake. I told you yesterday that you got one chance, that was it. I don’t know what your problem is with me but it’s going to stop.”

“You don’t scare me.”

Lexa knees him roughly, causing him to double over in pain; she pushes him to the floor and presses her boot to his chest, “You won’t like what happens next so stay out of my way, got it? My patience is wearing thin.”

“Lexa, what the hell! Get off him.” Clarke, who was on her way to her car, comes to a stop at the scene before her. “Let him go!” She commands, rushing to kneel down next to him, “You okay, Bell?”

“You’re gonna come to his rescue, really?” Lexa pushes down harder, causing the older boy to gasp for air. “He almost broke my fingers, Griffin.”

Clarke looks down at Bellamy, “You did?”

“She deserves it.”

“You promised me.” Clarke frowns. “Why would you…”

“You’re blind-sided by her.” He says, sighing in relief when the foot on his chest is removed. “I just can’t let her hurt you.”

“Cause I’m the villain in this scenario, how?” Lexa asks bitterly; she grabs her jacket from back off the floor and slings it over her shoulder, looking at Clarke. “I won’t hesitate next time to break a bone, keep them away from me.”

“I’m really sorry.” Clarke says as she helps Bellamy up; she whispers something in his ear and waits until he’s gone before looking back at the slightly taller girl, “You okay?”

“I’ve been harassed twice this week; yeah, I’m fine.” Lexa says. “You don’t have to apologize, it’s alright. Look, I’ve gotta get to practice…”

“I do have to apologize and not just about my friends, about everything.” Clarke says, unable to meet her eyes. “Can we please talk sometime?”

“I’ll think about it.” Lexa tells her. “Maybe another day.”

“Really?”

Lexa nods, “I’ll have to see when I’m free. I’m pretty busy.”

Clarke falters, “I don’t think this can wait.”

“Well, it’ll have to.” Lexa says, “You can’t just expect me to do as you say, it doesn’t work like that. I’m not just gonna drop everything for you because you ask me too. I’m not a doormat.”

“I know that and I realize how I’ve been treating you lately but…”

“Another time. When and if I’m ready to talk I’ll come to you.”

0o0o0

“I’m so excited!” Octavia squeals, her knee bouncing up and down excitedly against the carpeted floor of the doctor’s office.

“I feel sick to my stomach.” Clarke says, an arm thrown haphazardly across her abdomen as she leans her head against the wall. 

“Why!” Octavia asks, “You’re about to see your baby for the first time!”

“Exactly!” Clarke says, “This makes it real! Like no more denying it.”

“You still have doubts?” Raven asks from beside her, glancing up from the magazine she’s been flipping through.

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Clarke says, “Believe me, there’s a baby.”

“I can’t wait to see the little fucker.”

“Can’t we just stick to baby Griffin?” Clarke asks.

“Little fucker is so much more badass, like it’s mommy!” Raven coos, poking repeatedly at Clarke’s tummy. “You’re gonna love me, kid.”

“This baby is gonna be like a test dummy for the group.” Octavia says, “See who’s fit to parent and who’s not. Rae is a definite no.”

“Go to hell.” Raven says, sticking her tongue out. “You don’t know that!”

“Shh, there’s other people in here.” Clarke says, noticing the looks from the other expectant mothers. “I already feel like I’m being judged.”

“Clarke Griffin!”

“That’s us!” Octavia says, jumping up; she yanks on the blonde’s arm. “Hey! Come on, it’s time to see that baby!”

Clarke pushes herself up off the chair, “That’s me.”

“Hi, Ms. Griffin.” The older woman greets. “Follow me.”

Octavia, Raven and Clarke follow the older woman in bright pink scrubs through the door and towards the back of the building to the last room on the left. Joy, the nurse (after finally introducing herself) asks Clarke the few basic questions she needs before leaving the three of them alone to wait for the OBGYN to arrive.

Five minutes later, a blonde haired woman walks into the room, a giant smile on her face, “Hello there! Wow, full room. I’m Dr. Niylah.” She looks between the three girls, “Griffin?”

Clarke tosses her hand up in a small wave, “Uh, yeah.”

“Supportive friends I see.” Dr. Niylah points out as she starts to set up everything. “Will the father be joining us today?”

“No, not today.” Clarke mumbles.

“I understand.” Dr. Niylah says, pulling the ultrasound machine closer to the medical table. “Today’s visit is very basic. I have a few things to discuss with you about what to expect in the upcoming months or to answer any questions you might have. Other than that I’ll just be giving you a few pamphlets and some prenatal vitamins.”

“Okay.” Clarke says, nudging Raven in the ribs.

“Prenatal.” Raven giggles. “I _love_ it.”

Octavia rolls her eyes, “You’re an idiot.”

“Lift your shirt for me.” Clarke does as she asks. “Alright, this will be a little cold but it should subside in just a moment, I promise.”

“So, where’s the kid?” Raven asks, squinting to look at the screen.

Dr. Niylah stays silent before pointing to a spot on the screen, “That’s your baby, Ms. Griffin, perfectly healthy it seems. You can barely tell where it is but it’s definitely there. Congratulations!”

Clarke tears up, her eyes growing wide as she stares at the small dot on the screen, “Holy shit.”

“Your next visit will be a little better.” Dr. Niylah says. “From the looks of it your about eleven weeks, almost twelve. I’d estimate your due date to be around the middle of March but we’ll get a better idea as time goes on. Just keep in mind that a lot of first time pregnancies sometimes go a few days or weeks over but it’s not something to worry about.”

“Boy or girl?” Raven asks.

“That won’t be for another few months.” Dr. Niylah says, wiping the gel off of Clarke’s stomach. “You can sit back up. Let me go grab some stuff for you and then you’ll be free to go.”

“Thank you.”

“… Alright, here you are.” Dr. Niylah hands Clarke a small bag, “Everything is inside. I’d like to see you a month from now; Nancy, our receptionist will set an appointment up for you on your way out.

“Okay.” Clarke says, standing up. “Thank you.”

“No problem, sweetie.” Dr. Niylah says, “Call if you have questions.”

With a final goodbye to her new doctor she makes her way back out into the hall with Octavia and Raven close behind her. Once they make it to the waiting room she sets up another appointment with the receptionist for the following month before heading to her car and back towards the house.

“Baby Griff was adorable.”

“Rae, we couldn’t really see it.”

“Shut up, Blake.” Raven says from the back. “I’m trying to be supportive.”

“Clarke, you’ve been quiet.” Octavia says, looking at the blonde. “You okay? What’s wrong?”

“I just feel bad.” Clarke admits as she pulls into the driveway.

“About what?” Raven asks, “You just saw your baby for the first time, you should be really fucking excited right now!”

“Lexa should’ve been there.” Clarke sighs. “I really appreciate the two of you coming with me but she shouldn’t have missed it.”

“Well in your defense you did try talking to her today and she shut you down.” Raven points out. “I mean I get that she has no idea so like there’s that but don’t feel back because she’s being petty.”

“What happened to being nice?” Octavia asks her.

“I _am_ being nice.” Raven says.

“O, it’s fine.” Clarke says, “She’s just being honest.”

“You’ll make it right.” Octavia says. “Just remember that.”

“Doesn’t mean I still don’t hate myself for how I handled the situation.”

“Regret your past mistakes later, bitch!” Raven says, jumping out of the car as fast she can with her brace on. “Mama G made cookies.”

“How do you know?” Octavia asks, “We literally just got here!”

“I’m a Reyes, we know everything.” Raven shrugs. “Consider it a gift.”

Clarke motions to her phone, “Or, you know, my mom just sent us a text saying that she fixed them for us. I could be wrong but I highly doubt it.”

“You ruin all the fun.” Raven frowns as she waits for Clarke to open the door. “I remember a time when you used to go along with my antics.”

“So, when we we’re five?”

“One day when I’m old and unable to do what I do now you’ll look back on today and think about how much you miss my smartass.”

“Yeah.” Octavia and Clarke look at one another. “Like that’ll ever happen.” 


	4. The Worst of Them

“God damn it, she still doesn’t block right.” Lexa says, throwing her hands up in frustration, “Luna, what the fuck! How many times do we have to go over this, you have to keep your eyes on the ball!”

“I’m trying my hardest!” Luna says, rolling her eyes at her captain.

“Well try harder!” Lexa commands. “The rest of us would like to go home at some point but we can’t do that until you do something right!”

“Damn, what’s with you?” Anya asks, coming to a stop beside her on the sidelines. “You know this is her practice back, go easy on her.”

“We have a game in three days.” Lexa says as she wipes the sweat off her face with the edge of her jersey, “She’s missed every fucking ball.”

“Switch her out, then.”

“Titus won’t- Oh, for fucks sake!” Lexa tosses her water bottle onto the bench before making her way over to the goalie, a look of irritation on her face. “You’re done for the night.”

Luna, who has just missed another ball, looks at the brunette, “What?”

“You’ve wasted all of our time.” Lexa says, crossing her arms over her chest, clearly agitated. “Go home. Try again tomorrow.”

Ontari, who’s been working with Luna, turns to Lexa, “You know, you don’t have to be such a bitch all of the time. Just because your daddy bought your way onto this team doesn’t mean you can control us.”

“Yes, because we all know that’s really what happened.” Lexa says sarcastically. “Stay out of this, it doesn’t concern you.”

“You’ve been barking orders at us like some drill sergeant for weeks now and enough is enough.” Ontari says, “I understand that Clarke left you and whatever little arrangement you two had together but that doesn’t mean you can take it all out on us. If you’re so heartbroken over the blonde bitch, then maybe you shouldn’t be captain; you aren’t focused.”

“Oh boy.” Anya sighs; this can’t end well.

“Should we intervene?” Octavia asks as she makes her way over to the older girl. “The last time they got into a fight they almost got expelled.”

“Give it a minute.” Anya says, her eyes trained on the field. “Ontari’s still upset Lex won out captain; she’s just trying to piss her off.”

“You don’t know anything about me.” Lexa hisses. “Maybe if you would’ve paid more attention to the game then what the hell was going on in my life you would’ve had a better chance at becoming captain.”

“Right.” Ontari laughs. “Do you honestly think even half of these girls chose you because they like you? Most of them are too terrified of you to doing anything that’ll remotely set you off. Sad really, because you’re just a huge softly who lets anyone walk all over you.”

“I’m not doing this with you.” Lexa says, clenching her jaw. “It’s been two years, stop being so childish and get the fuck over it.”

“So,” Ontari starts again, ignoring Lexa. “Clarke looks different.”

“Okay and?”

“Rumor is that she’s pregnant.” Ontari says. “Oh my God, is that why Bellamy Blake hit you the other day? You knocked her up, didn’t you?”

“No, I didn’t.” Lexa says slowly.

“Ontari, maybe we should leave.” Luna suggests.

“Good idea.” Lexa says, rocking impatiently on her heels.

“It makes sense.” Ontari continues. “Literally everyone in this school knows that the two of you fucked around. Do you honestly think no one noticed that things are different between you?”

“Williams, leave it alone.” Anya says, stepping in between them. She looks from Lexa to Ontari, “Remember what happened last time.”

“Lexa and I are just talking, aren’t we?” Ontari smirks, “Whatever, it doesn’t matter anyways, we’re done here.”

“Good. Go home.” Anya says, “You don’t always have to start shit.”

“Oh, come on.” Ontari laughs. “You have to admit it’s fun to rile the ‘Commander’ up. Besides,” She looks Lexa up and down, “What would the kid even call you; daddy or mommy?”

Lexa lunges but before she has a chance to make contact Anya is pushing her back, gripping her tightly. “If you do this, you could lose your scholarship. Don’t let her get to you.”

“God, you’re so easy.” Ontari says, “Do you really think that if Clarke Griffin is pregnant that it would be your baby? She sleeps with so many people she probably has no idea whose it is in the first place.”

“Go fuck yourself.” Lexa shoves Anya’s arms off her. “Don’t touch me.”

“Lex…”

“I’m fine.” Lexa says angrily. “Just leave me alone.”

Anya starts to say something but Lexa waves her off; without another word she turns on her heel and makes her way off the field. She grabs her bag and dismisses the team before taking off in the direction of her car, wanting nothing more than to go home and forget the day.

0o0o0

“You have to tell her.” Octavia tells Clarke. “If it hadn’t been for Anya, Lexa would’ve beat the shit out of her. She’s angry all the time and I think the two of you not talking is starting to get to her.”

“I’ve tried!” Clarke says, “She won’t talk to me!”

“Make her listen to you.” Octavia says. “Make sure she can’t escape. You have to start somewhere, okay? Go to her house or something.”

“I can’t just show up!”

“Uh yes, yes you can.” Octavia deadpans. “She basically lives there alone.”

“What about her little brother?” Clarke asks.

“Who cares?” Octavia shrugs, “Their house is fucking huge, I’m sure there are plenty of places where you can talk about everything without being interrupted. Stop making excuses and grow a pair.”

“Blake’s right.” Raven says as she walks into the room with several bags of food; she tosses them onto Clarke’s bed. “All of this drama is starting to stress me the hell out. I’m kinda over it.”

“You’re stressed out?” Clarke asks, dumbfounded. “I’m the one who’s pregnant and in a full on argument with my child’s mother and you’re the one who’s over it? Fuck you, Reyes.”

“Well, it’s been like a month and I’m ready to move onto something else.”

“Asshole.” Octavia says, stealing Raven’s burger and taking a bite out of it. “What happened to always supporting one another?”

“I am supportive.” Raven says, “Just honest.”

“You can’t wait anymore.” Octavia says, “Tomorrow’s Friday. Figure out what in the hell you’re planning on saying to her and go over there tonight. Don’t leave until she gives in and talks to you.”

“T- Tonight?” Clarke’s eyes widen in horror. “I can’t do it!”

“I will drag you there myself.” Octavia says, matter of fact. “I know damn well if you don’t suck it up and do it now, you’ll keep putting it off.”

“Can’t I do it tomorrow after school?” Clarke runs a hand through her blonde hair, “That way she’ll have the weekend to think about it.”

“ _Clarke._ ”

“Where do I even begin?” Clarke asks. “Being pregnant doesn’t excuse how I’ve been acting towards her.”

“Well obviously.” Raven mumbles.

“Tell her the truth.” Octavia says, point blank. “Don’t bullshit her, just be real. No matter what direction you take it I’m sure she’s gonna be a little pissed off. You’re nearly 12 weeks and you’re just now telling her.”

“I was scared.” Clarke says, “Cut me some slack.”

“I’m not saying you weren’t.” Octavia says, “Everyone deals with things a certain way but it’ll still probably hurt her to know that it too you so long to tell her. You literally found out and pushed her away.”

“Well in my defense she told me she was done with me.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Octavia says, “You knew about that baby when all of that happened and instead of acting like an adult you went off on her.”

 “It’s not like I meant to!” Clarke tries to defend herself. “I was in a terrible mood that day and she just hit a nerve. I know she didn’t do it on purpose because she always acts like that with me but I couldn’t help it. I was so upset and angry with her and I wasn’t going to act like I wasn’t.”

“Tell her that.” Octavia says. “No more secrets. Whether you get your shit together and deal with the feelings you refuse to acknowledge or not; you have a baby to think about. Lexa needs to know, Clarke.”

“Fine.” Clarke whines. “I’ll fucking tell her.”

“Want me to come with?” Raven asks, “I’ll stay in the car and if she does or says something you don’t like you can just send me a signal or some shit and I’ll come save you. I’ll drop that fucker in a heartbeat.”

“You’re gonna stay here.” Octavia tells the brunette, “Clarke needs to do things on her own and I have no doubt in my mind that you’d end up talking her out of it before she even left the driveway.”

“I would do no such thing!”

“O’s right, Rae, I gotta do this on my own.” Clarke says, swallowing the lump in her throat. “It’s just Lexa, right?”

“Exactly!” Octavia says, slamming her hand down on Clarke’s nightstand in excitement. “You can do this, Griffin; like ripping off a Band-Aid.”

“That hurts like a bitch!” Raven says, “Seriously, have you ever done it?”

“Many of times.” Octavia says, rolling her eyes as she focuses her full attention back on Clarke, “Okay, tell me what you’re gonna say, word for word. I wanna make sure you don’t completely fuck this up.”

0o0o0

“Hey, can I borrow your…” Aden pauses mid-sentence, once foot still out the door; he looks around his older sister’s room in surprise. “Uh, what in the hell…”

“God damn it, Aden.” Lexa says drunkenly from the floor. “Do you even know how to fucking knock? It’s not that hard, takes like five seconds.”

“Sorry.” Aden mumbles, taking a step further into the room. “So, uh, you’ve been drinking again.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

Aden frowns, “What’s wrong?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Lexa says, resting her chin on her knee.

“Do I need to call Lincoln?” Aden asks, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“You do not need to call anyone.” Lexa says, eyeing the empty bottle of vodka that’s rolling on her bedroom floor, “I’ve gotta get more alcohol.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Lex.” Aden says, crouching down in front of her, “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“No, I don’t need your help.”

Aden rolls his eyes, “You’re being a jerk.”

“I didn’t ask for you to stick around; it’s not like anyone else does.” Lexa murmurs. “Doesn’t surprise me though; I’m a fucking mess.”

“That’s not…” Aden sighs as the doorbell rings, echoing throughout the house. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

Lexa nods, “Where else do I have to go?”

Aden disappears from the room only to come back several seconds later, “Someone’s here to see you, said it’s really important. They refuse to wait until tomorrow and won’t leave until they talk to you.”

“Ugh, alright.” Lexa says, struggling intently to get up. It takes her almost three tries but once she’s finally on her two feet she smiles triumphantly.

“Don’t fall and die.” Aden pleads from the banister as he watches Lexa make her way down the stairs, “I’ll be in my room, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Lexa says as she swings the front door open. She blinks several times to try and adjust her blurry vision and when she opens her eyes Clarke is standing right in front of her, playing nervously with her jacket. “What are you doing here?”

“We have to talk, Lexa, it can’t wait.”

“I’m kinda busy at the moment.” Lexa says after a moment; she sways a little, “Can we do this some other time?”

Clarke shakes her head, “No, not really. Look, I’m really sorry…”

“I want a DNA test.”

Clarke’s eyes widen, “W- what?”

Lexa shrugs, indifferent, “A DNA test, you know, to see if the kid is mine.”

“How do you know?” Clarke asks, voice shaky.

“You shouldn’t tell someone your pregnant at a party.” Lexa says, “Not when there are hundreds of people around and anyone can hear you.”

“I…”

“I don’t need your excuses, okay?” Lexa says, a little more sober than she was a minute ago. “If this kid is mine, I’ll be there for it. You don’t have to worry about that but that doesn’t excuse you for how you’ve been treating me lately. I know I haven’t been the best but not once have I ever involved my friends in things that have to do with us, it isn’t fair.”

“You’ve known this entire time?” Clarke asks, clearly taken aback.

“I have.” Lexa says, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I know it wasn’t okay and…”

“I’m not gonna forgive you just so you’ll feel better.”

“I’ve put you through hell these past few weeks for no reason at all.” Clarke admits. “I should’ve never listened to them in the first place.”

“At least we can agree on something.” Lexa scoffs. “It’s late, Clarke and I’m really not in the mood to deal with this at the moment. I’m a little drunk and my mind’s not in the right place; I think it’s best if we discuss this some other time.”

“Yeah, okay.” Clarke nods, “We can talk when you’re ready.”

“Awesome.” Lexa says, starting to close the door. “Goodnight.”

Clarke starts to walk back down the sidewalk to her car but pauses, turning to look at Lexa, “Hey Lexa?”

“Hmm?” Lexa asks, the door barely cracked.

“I know it doesn’t account for much but there wasn’t anyone else.” Clarke says, voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know why I lied to you but I did and I’m sorry about that. I’m sure you don’t believe me and that’s okay but I promise you it’s the truth.”

“Drive safe, Clarke.” Lexa murmurs, quickly shutting the door. She sighs in exhaustion and runs a hand over her face as she leans against the door.

“Who was that?” Aden asks, peaking over the banister to look at his sister.

“No one.” Lexa says, “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not a little kid, Lex; you don’t have to keep things from me.” Aden says, making his way down the stairs. “You okay? You don’t look so well.”

“Clarke Griffin is pregnant.”

“Who’s that?” Aden asks, confused. “Wait, that’s the girl you’ve been sleeping with for months, right? Oh God, is it yours?”

“She says it is.” Lexa says.

“Dad will kill you.” Aden says, coming to sit beside her on the floor. “Wait, do you not think its yours?”

Lexa drops her head onto his shoulder, “I don’t know, Ad, I really don’t. She’s always told me there’s been other people and now she’s saying she lied about it. How am I supposed to believe anything she says?”

“I’m sorry, sis.” Aden says, squeezing her knee. “You can always ask for a DNA test though; she can’t deny you that. Did she just tell you all of this?”

“Yeah but I’ve known for a while.” Lexa tells him. “Anya overheard her at a party about a month ago and told me as soon as she found out. Everything has gone to shit since then and I don’t know if it can be fixed.”

“Do you have feelings for her?” Aden asks.

Lexa takes a deep breath, trying to collect herself, “I know I shouldn’t but I do.”

“Does she love you back?”

“No.” Lexa sighs, “No, I don’t think that she does.”

0o0o0

“You did it and that’s all that matters.” Jake says, setting a cup of tea in front of her, “The ball is in her court now, just give it some time.”

“She wasn’t even angry with me.” Clarke says, curling her knees up against her chest as she situates herself at the kitchen table, “Dad, she’s known about this for like a month and hasn’t even tried to force it out of me. How do I even apologize for all that I’ve done?”

“Honey, you made a mistake.” Jake says, “You learn from it and move on, okay? You prove to this girl that you’re sorry and that you’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to her and then see where things go.”

“What if it isn’t enough?”

“Well, it might not be but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to make things better.” Jake tells her. “Above all else this baby comes first.”

“I know that.” Clarke says, absentmindedly resting her palm against the small bump of her stomach. “That doesn’t mean I want her to hate me.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t, sweetheart.” Jake says. “You’ve told me yourself she hasn’t bothered you in weeks; doesn’t that tell you enough already?”

“Lexa acts like she doesn’t care but she cares so much.” Clarke says, “I know you don’t like to hear stuff like this but she always treated me with so much respect even when I didn’t deserve it. All I did was fight with her.”

“You’re a Griffin.” Jake says, “We don’t deal with feelings very well.”

“You said it yourself that it doesn’t excuse our behavior.”

“Of course it doesn’t.” Jake says, “When it comes down to it, you’ve told her the truth and you can only go forward from here. It’s not gonna be easy, I’m not gonna lie and say that it is but this gives you room to figure things out and fix whatever you’ve broken.”

“I’m not a bad person.”

“You’re far from it.” Jake agrees. “One mistake doesn’t define who you are as a person, you know that. Grow from this.”

“This entire time I thought I was doing what was best for this baby but it seems like I was doing the exact opposite. What if Lexa doesn’t forgive me; what if she wants nothing to do with us? How am I supposed to tell our son or daughter that I screwed up so much that their mother didn’t want them?”

“That’s not gonna happen, Clarke.” Jake says, “From what I’ve heard Lexa Woods seems like a pretty decent person. Besides, you have years before you have to think about things like that. Don’t worry yourself more than you need to, it isn’t good for you.”

“I’m exhausted.” Clarke yawns, “I’m gonna get some sleep.”

“You gonna be alright?” Jake asks.

“I honestly don’t know.” Clarke stands up. “No matter what, I have to accept whatever happens because I did this to myself.”

“I’m happy to know you’re thinking with your head this time.”

“If that was the case I wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.”

Jake rolls his eyes, “Shut up, you know what I meant.”

0o0o0

“So, what are you gonna do?” Lincoln asks Lexa the following morning.

“If I were you, I would sue for custody.” Anya says, “That’s something you can do, right? I mean she kept this from you for a month.”

“I’m not doing that.” Lexa says, tossing her backpack into her locker. “Like I’ve said time and time again Clarke was probably scared and didn’t really know how to handle the situation.”

“Doesn’t mean it was okay.” Anya mumbles, “Add to the fact that her friends came after you, that should be reason enough.”

“I refuse to stoop to her level.” Lexa says, “I believe we can take care of this baby in a civil manner without having to bring anyone else in.”

“You’re just waiting to see if you two can fix your fucked up relationship and raise this kid together, let’s be honest.” Anya says.

“Lex is perfectly capable of making her own decisions.”

“Look where that’s gotten her.”

Lexa rolls her eyes, “I’m right here, you know.”

Anya looks from her brother to her cousin, “You’re being an idiot.”

“I haven’t talked to Clarke.” Lexa says, “She came over last night, told me the truth and that was it. It’s not like I gave in and forgave her already.”

“It’s only a matter of time.” Anya says, “You’re so in love with her.”

“I’m not- I’m not in love with her.”

“Yeah, okay.” Lincoln mumbles.

“It doesn’t matter anyways.” Lexa says, “She doesn’t feel the same way.”

“You don’t know that.” Lincoln says.

“I think the past few months have proven otherwise.”

Lincoln elbows Anya in the chest, “Don’t be a jerk.”

“I’m just being honest!” Anya says, “Clarke is a bitch, short and simple. Just because she finally told Lexa about this kid doesn’t mean she’s ready to turn over a new leaf and ride off into the sunset with her.”

“I’m not doing this again.” Lexa sighs, “Can we just drop it?”

Anya nods, “For now.”

“Since when do you ever listen to me?” Lexa asks.

“Griffin is making her way over here and I don’t wanna miss what bull shit she has to say.” Anya says, leaning against the lockers.

“Go away.” Lexa says, kicking her roughly in the shin as she straightens up. “Seriously, you’re only gonna try to start a fight with her.”

“You don’t know that.”

Lexa gives her a look, “Really?”

“Ugh, whatever.” Anya says, “See you in class.”

Lexa watches as her cousin’s disappear into a nearby classroom before she turns to find Clarke standing behind her, “Clarke.”

“Lexa, hey.” Clarke says, hands in her pockets. “How are you?”

“Small talk doesn’t suite us well.” Lexa points out. “We’ve tried that.”

“I, uh, I wanted to give you this.” Clarke pulls something out of her jacket pocket and shoves it in Lexa’s hands, “It’s from a couple of days ago.”

Lexa looks down at the photo, eyes wide, “Is this…”

“Yeah, that’s- that’s our baby.” Clarke says and she can’t help the small smile that forms. “I know it isn’t much but it’s there.”

“Why are you showing me this?” Lexa asks, an eyebrow raised in question.

“You deserve to know what’s happening in it’s life.” Clarke says, unable to meet her eyes. “I know I’ve made some terrible decisions over the past few weeks but I’m trying to be better. I figured this was a start.”

“Yeah…”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me.” Clarke says. “I’ve been awful to you recently and if you hate me, I don’t blame you.”

“What about the other… guys?”

“There isn’t anyone else.” Clarke admits, running a hand through her blonde hair. “I don’t know why I told you there was but there isn’t. It’s been you the entire time, only you. If you still want a DNA test though, I’ll do it.”

“Okay.” Lexa looks back down at the picture; she runs her thumb over it. “Thanks for this, I uh, I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.” Clarke says awkwardly. “I’m gonna go, I just, I wanted you to have that. I’ll see you around, okay?”

“Sure.” Lexa says, barely paying any attention to Clarke. “Bye.”

Clarke stares at Lexa for another moment before making her way down the hall and into her first period class.

This was a start, right?


	5. Fight My Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has commented, bookmarked and left kudos on this story. I didn’t think this would ever become what it has and I appreciate all the feedback I’ve gotten; positive or negative. I know it can be hard to deal with all of the angst but I promise after this chapter things will start to look up so just hold on a little bit longer.

“You can talk to her, you know.” Octavia says, making her way over to Lexa who is sitting at a table in the library, her focus on Clarke.

Lexa looks at Octavia, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, figure it out.” Octavia says, sitting down. “You two are having a kid together and you’re gonna have to get past this awkward stage your in. You both fucked up, get over it and move on.”

“I don’t even know if it’s mine.” Lexa says, leaning back in her chair. “I can’t act like it is and then have it all taken away when the DNA test proves otherwise. Just because Clarke says there wasn’t anyone else, that she lied about the entire thing doesn’t been she’s telling me the truth.”

“Grow up.” Octavia says, rolling her eyes. “You have feelings for her, I’m not an idiot and she has feelings for you too. I’m not saying you two need to just forgive and forget because you’ve both been children about all of this but it’s about time you actually talk to one another.”

“Octavia, it isn’t that easy.”

“No, it isn’t.” Octavia says, “I know she hurt you, alright? She did some shitty things to you but you’ve got to understand that she’s a seventeen-year-old girl with her entire future at stake because she’s having a baby. It doesn’t excuse how she’s treated you but cut her some slack, she’s scared, even though she won’t admit it.”

 “But…”

“Clarke made the first move.” Octavia says, ignoring Lexa. “You’re running out of time and if you want to at least be on decent terms by the time this baby is born, talk to her. You’ve both realized how immature you’ve been and that’s a start, right?”

“Yeah, I guess but…”

“Stop with the excuses.” Octavia says, sighing in frustration. “I’m not gonna keep telling you what’s going on with her because it’s about time you deal with this yourself. I could care less about your relationship but since neither of you seem to be putting this baby first, someone has too.”

“Like I’ve said, I don’t know if the child is mine.”

“Bullshit.” Octavia says, “You know damn well if it was someone else’s kid that I would’ve already to you. You’re just being a coward.”

“No, I’m not.” Lexa says, clenching her jaw. “Clarke has lied to me from the very beginning of our arrangement and I’m just supposed to let all of that go? I don’t think so.”

“Oh my God.” Octavia sighs, “I never said that. You can still be upset and pissy about it but you’ve gotta push that to the side and think of the baby.”

“You know, when I asked you to keep me updated, I didn’t mean for you to criticize my every decision.” Lexa says. “I’ll handle this on my own.”

“So, does that mean you’re actually gonna grow a pair and talk to her?” Octavia asks. “She’s almost thirteen weeks. Do you really wanna miss out on anything else?”

Lexa’s eyes widened. “Wait, what?”

Octavia nods, “See what I mean? You’ve gotta talk to her; there’s already so much you’ve missed out on, not to mention I think she would appreciate not having to do this alone anymore.”

“What about you?” Lexa asks, “You’ve been there for her.”

“That’s different.” Octavia says; the bell rings. “I’ve gotta get to class but think about it, okay? I get that you’re terrified but so is she; stop letting fear control you and talk to her. I have faith in you.”

Lexa rolls her eyes, a small smile playing at her lips, “You’re okay, Blake. Thank you.”

Octavia stands back up, “Anytime _Commander_.”

0o0o0

Bellamy storms into the library, a look of anger on his face as he makes his way over to Clarke, “You told her?”

Clarke looks up from her sketchbook, confused, “What?”

“Woods!” Bellamy nearly yells, “You told her about the baby?”

“Like a week ago.” Clarke says, standing up. “Bell, calm down.”

“God Clarke, how are you this stupid?” Bellamy shakes his head in disbelief, “Do you really think she’ll ever be a parent to that kid?”

“You don’t know her.”

Bellamy slams his fist onto the table, “Neither do you! How many times have you said how horrible she was to you? Wake the fuck up.”

“She’s not a bad person.” Clarke says, “I’m not about to apologize for doing what I know is right. How would you feel if you got someone pregnant and they treated you the way I’ve been treating her, huh?”

“I’m not like her.” Bellamy scoffs. “Don’t compare us.”

Clarke rolls her eyes, “You’re missing the point. I spent the past month listening to you about how terrible she was to me and actually believing it because I was too afraid to deal with my own problems.”

“You obviously must’ve thought those things too or else you wouldn’t have believed them so easily.” Bellamy says, “Don’t blame me for that.”

“I’m not.” Clarke sighs as she runs her fingers through her hair. “I know you care about me and you’re worried that I’m making a mistake but Lexa won’t abandon this baby. We may not be in the best place at the moment but she’d never leave me to deal with this on my own.”

“Octavia says she hasn’t spoken to you since you told her.”

“She probably needs time to process it.” Clarke shrugs, indifferent. “It literally took me over a month to finally tell her; I think I can forgive her for not accepting me back into her just like that. I hurt her.”

“She hurt you too!”

“Not really.” Clarke says, “I might have said some things about her because I was angry and upset but none of it was true. She’s always been kind to me even when she shouldn’t have been; these past few weeks should be proof enough.”

“You have us.” Bellamy says, ignoring her recent statement. “We’ve been here for you since the very beginning and we don’t have a problem helping you take care of this baby. Come on, I’d be a better father then her any day!”

Clarke shifts uncomfortably, “That’s sweet of you but this is my responsibility, not yours. Besides, if Lexa wants to be a part of this baby’s life then she has every right to be and I won’t deny her of that.”

“You’re making a mistake.”

“The only mistake I’ve made is sticking by your side even after all the shit you’ve pulled.” Clarke says, irritated; she’s so sick and tired of having the same conversation every day. “I love you, Bell, like a brother; I know that’s not what you want to hear but there will never be any thing between us. You have to stop letting your feelings get in the way because if you keep trying to make decisions for me, I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to have you in my life. You’re making everything extremely stressful for me.”

Bellamy’s huffs in frustration, “I’ve always been there for you.”

“I know that and I’m so happy you’re in my life but I like where we are right now and I don’t want that to ever change.” Clarke says, resting a hand on his bicep to try and comfort him. “We wouldn’t work together.”

“You don’t know that.” Bellamy argues, “You never gave us a chance.”

Clarke gives him a sad smile, “You’ll find someone, I promise.”

“This is because of Lexa, isn’t it?” Bellamy asks. “You really think that you’re gonna fix your relationship and live happily ever after?”

“Maybe.” Clarke says, “You never know.”

“She’ll never be faithful to you.” Bellamy says, “Unlike me.”

“Bell…”

“No! I won’t stand by and let her hurt you over and over again, you don’t deserve it!” Bellamy says, clenching his fists. “I can be everything you need me to be and you won’t ever have to worry with me around. I’ll give you and this baby anything you could ever want in life, I promise you.”

“I appreciate how much you care about me…”

Bellamy takes a step closer to her; he stares at her for a second before places both of his palms face down on her barely there bump, “You know I’m the best option for you, above everyone else. I’ll be there for you.”

Clarke stiffens. She didn’t realize it before this moment but she really doesn’t like when people touch her stomach, it’s too intimate and Lexa should be this close to their baby, “Bellamy, stop.”

Bellamy moves his fingers over the fabric of her shirt, entranced, “Just think for a minute, about the life we could have, Clarke. White picket fences, a two story house, that French Bulldog you’ve always wanted.”

Clarke takes a step back, not feeling the slightest bit guilty when he frowns at her and his hands drop to his sides. She starts to say something but blue eyes meet green and she pauses, unable to think of what she was about to say. Lexa is several tables away, a glare placed firmly on her face, her attention solely on the two of them (and for God knows how long). Before Clarke even has time to register what Lexa has or hasn’t thought about the entire situation, the brunette is storming out of the library, her things forgotten on the table. 

“Clarke, are you even paying attention to me?” Bellamy shakes her shoulders gently, “You okay? What happened?”

“Uh, it’s nothing.” Clarke says as she turns and haphazardly packs her things back into her purse. “I have to go.”

Bellamy grabs her wrist and tugs her back to him, “Wait, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine, I promise.” Clarke says, pulling away from him once again. She doesn’t wait for his reply, instead she takes off in the direction that Lexa has disappeared and prays that they aren’t about to take ten steps back.

0o0o0

Lexa knows she probably looks like a stalker at this point; she hasn’t taken her eyes off of Clarke in over an hour and as much as she wants to suck it up and talk to her, she physically can’t. What are you even supposed to say to someone that might or might not be carrying your unborn child? She thinks back to the conversation she had with Octavia and although she doesn’t want to admit it, deep down she knows that Clarke is telling the truth about everything. It still doesn’t mean that all the shit they’ve put one another through is okay or that they’re going to go back to the way they were two months prior to all of this but it’s something, right?

She’s several tables away from Clarke and about to talk herself into actually confronting the blonde when Bellamy fucking Blake makes his way over to her, clearly angry. Lexa doesn’t know why she actually watches the altercation, it’s not like she cares what the two of them have to talk about but when their voices get louder and her name is said more times than it should be she can’t help but listen to their argument. To say she’s a little shocked when she overhears Clarke defend her is an understatement but it quickly dissipates when Bellamy places his hands on her stomach and the jealously (that she refuses to acknowledge), sends her into a rage. Unable to look at the two of them anymore she gets up and makes her way out of the library, trying to ignore the pain growing in her chest.

No one should be able to touch Clarke like that.

 “Lexa!”

Lexa is almost to the double doors and only a few feet away from being closer to her car when someone yells her name. She knows that voice, that husky melodic sound that makes her stomach flip every time she hears it; she wants to keep walking, to ignore her but she can’t.

She slowly turns back to look at Clarke.

“Lexa, wait.” Clarke says again; she sighs in relief when the older girl seems to listen to her and she takes a deep breath when she comes to a stop in front of her. “Can we talk?”

“About what?” Lexa asks, trying to seem indifferent but failing miserably.

“What happened back there.” Clarke says, motioning towards the library.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lexa lies.

“I’m sorry about Bellamy.” Clarke begins playing with her bracelet nervously. “He’s always been a little touchy and…”

“That’s my baby.” Lexa says and it isn’t a question; she takes several steps forward until she’s nearly pressed against Clarke.

“Y- Yeah.” Clarke stutters; her blue eyes wide.

“No one can touch you.” Lexa says, her voice low as she places firm hands on soft hips, “I don’t care who it is, don’t let them do it.”

Clarke nods dumbly as she tries to ignore the warm feeling pooling in her belly at Lexa’s tone, “Okay.”

“You have to protect yourself.” Lexa says, as if it’s reason enough. “For some reason Blake seems to think that he has a right to put his hands all over you and I don’t appreciate it. Not when you’re carrying my baby.”

Clarke swallows the lump in her throat, “I’ll be careful, okay?”

“I’m sorry.” Lexa says after a moment; she drops her hands. “I don’t want you to think I’m trying to control you. I just- I heard what Blake had to say and it set something off in me. It won’t happen again.”

“You have every right.” Clarke says and she wants to reach for Lexa, to let her know that she’s being honest but she knows they aren’t there yet. “I’ll tell him to back off; he’s starting to creep me out anyways.”

“Yeah, well.” Lexa adjusts her leather jacket and pulls her keys out of her pocket. “Again, I’m sorry about losing my cool. Have a good day, Clarke.”

Clarke looks at Lexa, “You… You don’t have to apologize.”

Lexa shrugs, “It’s fine, no worries.”

“You should hate me for all of this.” Clarke says, biting her lip. “How can you possibly still be so nice to me after I’ve been a bitch to you?”

“You were dealing with something; I can’t fault you for that.” Lexa says, “It doesn’t excuse how you treated me but I do understand why you were acting the way you were. I don’t like to dwell on the past anyways.”

“I kept this baby from you.”

“Technically I knew about it.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do.” Lexa nods. “You were scared and that’s okay.”

“I’m sorry about how Bellamy has treated you and for saying all that I did; I took everything out on you and it wasn’t right.” Clarke says. “I know that this doesn’t mean we’re going to go back to the way we were but this is our baby and you can be involved in it’s life as much or as little as you want.”

“We will discuss things as the months’ progress, Clarke.” Lexa says, “I would like to know when your next appointment is though, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh, yeah- yeah, sure!” Clarke says, surprised.

“I’ve gotta go.” Lexa says, knowing that if they continue this any longer she’ll fall right back into Clarke and she doesn’t want that. Not yet.

“I’ll text you, if you want?”

“That’ll will suffice.” Lexa agrees, making her way towards the exit. “Goodnight.”

0o0o0

“I’m gonna kill him!” Octavia growls; she sits up on Clarke’s bed. “I love him and all but that’s just borderline creep status. Although I do like how it got Lexa to finally talk to you, all angry and jealous.”

“I know he has feelings for me…”

“Took you a while to realize.” Raven mumbles from the floor.

Clarke glares at her before she continues, “I didn’t think it was this bad.”

“Who tells their sister’s best friend that they’ll father the child of someone else’s kid? Especially Lexa’s; does he have a death wish?”

“Says the one who talks shit about her literally all of the time.”

“Hey!” Raven kicks Octavia roughly in the shin, “Just because I don’t like her very much doesn’t mean I’m stupid enough to confront her. I’m not an idiot. And thank you very much, I’ve calmed down on my Lexa hate.”

“So, do you think things will start to get better between you guys?” Octavia asks Clarke, “Clearly this shows she still cares.”

“At least we can move on to the next stage of this teenage pregnancy drama.” Raven says, sighing in relief. “No more secrets and shit. Now all that needs to happen is you two figure out what you mean to each other and figure out where you want to go with it.”

“Two weeks ago you were asking me not to tell her and now you’re wanting us to what, get together?” Clarke looks at her, “You make no sense.”

“I guess she’s redeemed herself.” Raven shrugs. “Not to mention Anya might have overheard me talking shit about Lexa and threatened to cut me off and I’d rather not deal with that. So, yeah, I’m on the Clexa train!”

“The what?” Octavia asks.

“Clarke and Lexa’s couple name?” Raven looks at them like they’re the dumbest people on earth. “Never mind, it’s just something Jas and Monty came up with when you first started your arrangement.”

“That’s the gayest nickname I’ve ever heard.” Octavia deadpans.

“Linctavia any better?” Clarke asks, an eyebrow raised in amusement.

“I’ll never forgive you for that.” Octavia groans. “We’re like the hottest couple in school and that just brings us down a notch. You suck.”

“So, where do you guys go from here?” Raven asks.

“I don’t know.” Clarke admits as she pulls her hair into a messy bun. “She asked me if she could join me at the next appointment and I said yes.”

“Wait, really?” Octavia asks, excited. “That’s so cute!”

“Don’t think you’re off the hook for being her informant.” Clarke gives her a look, “Did you really think you were being that subtle?”

“Can you blame me?” Octavia asks. “Someone had to move this entire thing along, it was taking forever. My God, movies aren’t as dramatic as your fucking love life.””

“Okay, that was rude.”

“It’s the truth.” Raven laughs as she high-fives Octavia like a three-year-old, “You were about a week away from being forced onto Jerry Springer.”

“I’ve stooped to that level?” Clarke makes a disgusted face. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” Octavia sing-songs. “Come on, you know we’re just messing with you, Griff.”

"I don't think that you are." Clarke says, "I think you two are genuine assholes."

"Hey." Raven points at her. "That's a compliment, thank you."

Octavia looks to Raven, "Rae?"

Raven glances up from her phone, "What?"

"How long until Clarke and Lexa give in and we end up finding them fucking in the janitor's closet again?"

Clarke throws a pillow at her but misses by several feet. "I need new friends."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I literally have no excuse except that life got in the way. This chapter is a little short but don't worry, the rest of them from here on out are fairly decent in size. Thanks again for checking this out.


	6. Dance With The Deveil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for not updating in over a week. With the holiday's and finals coming up, I've been extremely busy but things should pick back up soon. 
> 
> I thank you for all of the kudos, bookmarks and comments; they mean more to me then you'll ever know. I hate to see some of you arguing though but I want to clear things up and say that no one is bothering or offending me. Some people like certain things, others don't. I have this story planned out till the very end so everything is already set in stone but I appreciate all of the feedback.
> 
> You guys are awesome, I appreciate it.

Lexa sits in the back of the library, away from the wandering eyes and careless whispers, her focus on the laptop in front of her as she tries to find what she’s looking for. It’s no secret that Clarke’s pregnancy was the talk of the school, not after Bellamy’s outburst in front of their classmate’s days prior and although she could care less about the attention aimed in her direction she would still rather avoid it. Usually, her lunch period was spent outside on the patio with Lincoln and Anya but over the course of the last several weeks she’s used her free time tucked away in the comfort of old books and the silence that follows them.

“Baby books?”

Lexa startles before quickly slamming her computer shut; she looks up to see that Clarke is standing next to her. “Uh, what?”

“You’re looking at baby books.” Clarke repeats, biting her lip to keep from smiling; she sets her things onto the table before sitting down.

Lexa stares at the her for a moment, not knowing what to say.

“We have to start somewhere, right?” Clarke pulls her sketchbook from her backpack and flips it open to a blank page, “We don’t have to talk.”

“Won’t the ‘Delinquents’ call for a search party if they don’t know where their princess is?” Lexa asks, a small bite in her tone. “Or should I be on the look out for the local police department just in case I need to make a run for it because God knows everyone believes I’m some kind of criminal.”

“I’m sorry about them, about all of this.” Clarke says, “I know I tell you all of the time and I’m sure it’s starting to get on your nerves but I want you to know how much I mean it. I really don’t want this baby to grow up in a world where his or her parent’s hate each other, it wouldn’t be right.”

“I don’t hate you, Clarke.”

“You don’t?” Clarke’s eyes widen, “But…”

“You’ve done some shitty things but so have I.” Lexa sighs as she leans back into her chair, “Can we just move on from this? What happened in the past is over and done with; I’m sick of discussing it. Let’s just focus on this baby and go from there, alright? Whatever happens, happens.”

Clarke nods and picks up her art pencil, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Lexa asks, opening her laptop once more.

“Giving me another chance.” Clarke shrugs.

“I’m not doing this for you.” Lexa says as she clicks on her cart to double check and make sure she has everything she wants to purchase. “It’s time we act like adults and deal with what’s to come; acting like children and avoiding each other is only going to make things worse.”

“I know but ...”

“Do you have any baby books?” Lexa asks, her eyes never leaving the screen as she speaks. “They say it’s best to be as prepared as possible.”

Clarke feels her heart skip a beat as she watches the brunette; even after all she’s put Lexa through she still can’t believe she’s even talking to her, “My parents bought me a few but it was more of a joke.”

“I’ll buy extra’s then.” Lexa states as she goes back through her shopping cart to update her items.

“You don’t have to do that.” Clarke says, voice barely above a whisper. “My mom is a doctor, if I have any questions I can ask her.”

“It really isn’t a problem.” Lexa says, “I’ll buy them just in case.”

“I’ll pay you back.” Clarke says, feeling guilty.

“Don’t worry about it.” Lexa waves her off. “It’s fine.”

Clarke nods before turning her attention back on the sketchbook in front of her, not knowing what else to say. They don’t speak for the rest of their free period and when the bell rings to dismiss them for class they part ways with a goodbye and an unknown feeling in their chests. Was it really going to be this easy to fix all the things they’d put one another through?

0o0o0

“So, Griffin’s been around.” Anya states, matter of fact as she walks into Lexa’s kitchen, a frown on her face. “You forgave her already? Come on, even that’s pathetic for you, Lex.”

Lexa peels her soccer jersey off of her body and tosses it onto a chair before grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and taking a sip, “No, I haven’t forgiven her but I’m not going to ignore her if she’s trying.”

“Leave her alone.” Lincoln says, shoving his ‘little’ sister, “I’m sure she’s just thinking of the baby and what’s best for it.”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing.” Lexa says, “You know I don’t really like to dwell on the past and If Clarke is serious and really wants to fix all the shit that has happened between us, I’m not going to stop her.”

“Doesn’t mean she deserves it.” Anya mumbles. “What happened anyway? Several days ago you weren’t even close to talking to her and now all of that has changed? You’re letting her get to you again.”

“No, I’m not.” Lexa rolls her eyes. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that Clarke isn’t a bad person. Yeah, she’s done some things but who hasn’t? It’s over and done with, let’s drop it and move on.”

Anya sighs, “Fine but if she hurts you, pregnant or not, I’ll kill her.”

“Calm down, tiger.” Lincoln says, “Have some faith.”

“I mean I get that you’re trying to fix things for this kid or whatever and that’s very noble of you but spending every day together? Don’t you think that might be a little much?” Anya asks. “You didn’t spend this much time with one another when you were sleeping with each other.”

“We literally talk about the baby, Anya.” Lexa says as she sits across from her cousin’s, “You’re making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.”

“I’m just trying to look out for you.” Anya says, “You care for her- no, don’t interrupt me. You care for her and I understand that but don’t rush into anything, okay? I’m not saying she can’t redeem herself because she might be able to but don’t jump into something at the first sight of it all being okay. Her friends were horrible to you and she let them be.”

“Can you blame her though?” Lexa asks. “She’s seventeen years old and you know the rumors about me, would you not have done exactly what she had done if you were in her position? It’s not like she did some terrible crime, she just took a little while to tell me she was pregnant, that’s all.”

“Hey, I would’ve totally been okay with Clarke if she wouldn’t have acted like a child the entire time and treated you like you were the bad guy.” Anya says, “Bellamy on the other hand, is a piece of shit.”

“Seriously, the dude is a freak.” Lincoln says, “Octavia hasn’t spoken to him since he went off the other day in the library. Apparently he’s been in love with Clarke since they were little and thought that this was like his chance to come in and be the hero.”

“I would press charges on the dude.” Anya says, “I don’t know why his friends even put up with him, he’s fucking terrible.”

“They’re a family.” Lexa shrugs, “It isn’t that easy.”

“Uh, yeah it is.” Anya deadpans. “Not only did the fucker inform the entire school that his so called ‘friend’ was pregnant, which by the way, was so not his call but he’s been crossing lines since day one.”

“He hit you.” Lincoln says, “You seem to forget that.”

“It’s in the past.” Lexa says, “I think Clarke’s done with him anyway, for now at least. She apologized for his behavior and said that I don’t have to worry about him being around the baby or anything.”

“Well that’s the best decision she’s made this entire time!” Anya says, “God and it only took her, what, two months?”

“Anya.”

“I’m just being honest.” Anya says. “Don’t scold me like a child.”

“I saw her at your soccer games this week.”

Lexa looks up from her phone to look at Lincoln, “Who?”

“Clarke, she was with Jasper and Monty.” Lincoln says, “I’ve never seen that girl come to a sporting event since we were little kids and were forced to play on a recreational team. She couldn’t take her eyes off you.”

Lexa throws her empty water bottle at his forehead and smiles triumphantly when it hits her target, “Shut up.”

Lincoln laughs, “I’m not messing with you.”

“Still doesn’t mean she needs to forgive her tomorrow.” Anya says, glaring at her brother, “Just because you’re happy and in love and have this fairytale relationship doesn’t mean everyone else will.”

“I’m not saying that they need to hop off into the fucking sunset tomorrow, you dumbass.” Lincoln says, “It just looks like she’s really trying.”

“I’m not looking for a relationship with her.” Lexa says, “I know what it’s like to live in a house with parents who can barely stand each other and I would never want that for my child. I’m choosing to be an adult about this and to fix things as best I can. It’s still gonna take me a while to trust her again but I have to start somewhere or else it’ll be a never ending battle.”

“You’re gonna be a mommy!” Anya sing-songs.

Lexa flips her off and tries to hide the blush on her cheeks, “Fuck off.”

“Do you have and idea what you plan to do when the kid is born?” Lincoln asks, “Like, where the baby will live and stuff?”

“No, I haven’t spoken to Clarke about any of that yet.” Lexa says. “I don’t know what she plans to do about University but I’m sure we’ll figure it out. We still have like five months left to decide, it’ll be fine.”

“Just don’t let her use that as an excuse to not let you see them.”

“Anya, for the last time...”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Anya holds her hands up in defense, “Let me have my fun, alright? I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t make this hard on you.”

0o0o0

Clarke sits nervously in her car outside of the Woods mansion, trying to get enough courage to get out of the vehicle and go inside. During their free period that afternoon, Lexa had invited her over to discuss some things and that thought alone makes her want to vomit. It’s not that they aren’t okay, because they are (she thinks, she hopes); they’ve spent nearly every day over the past two weeks together during their free period and they’ve seemed to be doing just fine. Hell, Clarke even went to a few of Lexa’s soccer games to prove how serious she was about making things right and everyone that knows her knows she hates anything that isn’t football related.

“You can do this.” Clarke mumbles to herself for what feels like the tenth time that day. She quickly zips up her jacket and pulls the hood over her head to shield herself from the falling snow before getting out of the car and making her way towards the door.

Before the blonde even has a chance to knock the front door is swinging open and Lexa’s younger brother, Aden, is standing in front of her, “Clarke!”

“Oh, uh, hey.” Clarke says, shoving her hands in her pockets.

“You haven’t been here in a while.” Aden says. “It’s nice to see you.”

Clarke gives the smaller boy a smile, “You too, Aden.”

“Aden, who’s at the- Oh, hey Clarke.” Lexa says, coming to a stop as she makes her way into the foyer. “I was starting to wonder if you were ever planning on getting out of your car.”

Clarke feels her cheeks heat up at the comment and can’t help but look anywhere else but at the brunette, “Yeah, I…”

“Care to join me in my room?” Lexa asks, taking a bite of the yogurt that in her hand. “You know, so we can talk.”

“S- Sure.” Clarke says, taking her hood off once more. “Lead the way.”

Lexa thrusts her empty yogurt container into Aden’s chest before making her way up the staircase to her bedroom, Clarke close behind. “Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate it.”

“No problem.” Clarke says, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot; the last time she was in this room she was pretty sure their child was conceived. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Us, the baby, whatever.” Lexa says, motioning to the chair in the corner of the room that she knows Clarke loves. “You can sit down, you know.”

Clarke smiles gratefully and takes her jacket off before sitting down; she starts to play with her fingers nervously, “Okay.”

Lexa sits on the floor across from her, her back against her bed as she stares at Clarke, “What are your plans?”

“What do you mean?” Clarke asks, blue eyes wide in confusion.

“About this fall, with University and everything.” Lexa asks. “Do you have any word on your scholarship yet?”

“No, not yet.” Clarke says, “They haven’t sent out letters yet.”

Lexa nods, “Do you still plan to go?”

“I’d like to.” Clarke admits. “I don’t think I’ll be able to though.”

“Why not?” Lexa asks.

Clarke looks at her for a moment before motioning to her stomach, “I don’t think they allow baby’s in dorm rooms.”

Lexa laughs as a smile forms on her face.

“What?” Clarke asks. “What’d I say?”

“You won’t have to live in a dorm room, Clarke.” Lexa says, “Campus is only 45 minutes away from here anyways. You could still live at home and we could hire a nanny to watch the baby while we’re at school.”

“You’d do that?” Clarke asks, surprised.

“You mean would I have someone watch our kid while we’re at school?” Lexa looks at her, clearly amused. “Yes, I would.”

“No, I mean, you’d let the baby live with me?” Clarke asks.

“I’d like to have them sometimes too but yes.” Lexa says. “It’s best that a child has a stable home but I’d appreciate if I could visit whenever I’d like.”

“Yeah, of course.” Clarke stutters.

“There’s other options though.” Lexa says and Clarke can tell she’s getting nervous. “Athletes have the option of living off campus in the student apartments. If you’re comfortable with it, I could talk to the Dean and tell him about our situation and he’d probably let you live there too. It’s not much but it’s a lot better than a dorm room.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Clarke says. “I can figure something out.”

“You still have a while to think about it.” Lexa shrugs. “I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to force anything on you, I just figured it might be easier on the baby not having to constantly go back and forth.”

“No, I understand.” Clarke assures her. “I’ll let you know.”

“Alright.” Lexa says, sighing in relief. “That’s good.”

“I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon!” Clarke nearly yells, her nerves getting the best of her. “You asked me to tell you, so, yeah.”

Lexa stares at her, an eyebrow raised, “What time?”

“Right after school.” Clarke says, “It was supposed to be next week but my OBGYN called to reschedule last minute. I’m sorry it’s short notice.”

“Would it still be okay if I went with you?”

“Of course.” Clarke says without missing a beat. “I want you there.”

“You do?”

Clarke nods, “This is your baby too, Lexa.”

Lexa swallows the lump in her throat, “I’ll be there, then.”

“Good.” Clarke says, relaxing a little. “Did you wanna talk about anything else? I want to get home before the snow gets really bad.”

“We can discuss things as time progresses, there’s no rush.” Lexa says, pushing herself off the floor. “Do you want to talk about anything?”

Clarke shakes her head as she stands up, “Not that I know of.”

“Thank you, you know, for coming over.” Lexa says, handing Clarke her jacket. “I know this is the last thing you thought we would ever be discussing but…”

“Things happen for a reason.” Clarke interrupts her. “I mean, I would rather be a little older and have an actual job but everything will work out.”

“I hope so.” Lexa says, following Clarke back out of her room and down the stairs to the front door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

“You will.” Clarke agrees.

Lexa opens the door only to shut it seconds later, “I’d like for you to stay here tonight, if you don’t mind.”

“What?” Clarke asks, taken aback.

“The roads are terrible.” Lexa says, “Your car is already covered. I’d feel more comfortable if you just spent the night here; there’s no need to drive in this weather if you don’t have to.”

“Okay.” Clarke says, nodding. “I’ll stay.”

“LEX!”

Lexa sighs and looks up towards the banister, “What, Aden?”

“School’s closed tomorrow!”

“Thanks kid, not like I hadn’t already guessed that.” Lexa says sarcastically. “Go to bed.”

“It’s 9:30.”

“You’re being extremely obnoxious, so do it.”

Aden flips her off before looking at Clarke, “She’s always cranky. Maybe with you coming around again she’ll lighten up. All she does is complain.”

Clarke actually giggles at their bickering, “I’ll see what I can do.”

“I pray for this baby.” Aden says with a smirk. “Well, goodnight!”

“He’s adorable.” Clarke says once he disappears, “I almost forgot how much he likes to get under your skin.”

“Yeah, it’s hilarious.” Lexa says grumpily as she heads back up the stairs. She walks into her bedroom and motions to her dresser. “You can wear whatever you’d like; everything is in the bottom drawer.”

Clarke bends down and opens the draw as instructed but her face falls as she sees all the empty bottles of liquor, “Lex…”

Lexa, who is fixing her bed up, stumbles at the nickname; she hasn’t heard it in a while. She turns to look at Clarke and sighs when she realizes what the blonde has found, “Oh, uh, I forgot I moved some stuff.”

Clarke feels tears in her eyes but blinks them back, “You’re drinking.”

“Not anymore.” Lexa says honestly; she rubs the back of her neck awkwardly. “That’s from a few weeks ago.”

“Was it… Was it because of me?”

Lexa debates on whether or not to tell the truth; she decides it’s best not to lie and nods, “Sort of… I don’t know, I guess?”

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” Clarke says, straightening up. “If I could take it all back I would but I can’t. I’m just…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Lexa says, handing her an old jersey and some sleep shorts from her closet. “Here, you can wear these.”

“Thank you.” Clarke says, quickly wiping her eyes. “Can I use your bathroom?”

“You don’t have to ask.” Lexa says, “Sure, go ahead.”

Clarke disappears from the room only to return several minutes later in the clothes that Lexa had given her. She looks at Lexa, “Where do you want me to sleep?”

“Here is fine.” Lexa motions to her bed. “I’ll be down the hall.”

“This is your room, though.”

Lexa waves her off, “It’s okay, I promise. It’s not like we don’t have three other bedrooms in the house or anything.” She says sarcastically. “Really, it’s fine. I don’t have a problem with it.”

Clarke sits on the edge of the bed, “Only if you’re sure.”

“It’s not a big deal.” Lexa says as she grabs pajamas for herself. “I’ll be down the hall if you need anything, alright? My dad’s out of town so it’s just Aden and I; make yourself at home. Goodnight Clarke, sleep well.”

“Night Lexa, thanks again.”

0o0o0

“There isn’t a need for us to take two cars.” Clarke says as she opens the front door to Lexa’s house. “Do you just want to follow me back to my place so I can change and then we can ride together?”

Lexa looks outside and double checks the roads to make sure that they’re actually okay before nodding, “Yeah, sure, that’s fine with me.”

Clarke and Lexa depart without another word to their own vehicles before heading onto the highway and towards the Griffin household. They arrive nearly twenty minutes later and once they do, Clarke bolts inside to change into clean clothes and freshen up the best she can. After a quick goodbye to her mother, she’s back outside and climbing into Lexa’s car.

“You didn’t have to rush.” Lexa tells her as she backs out onto the street. “We don’t have to be there for another half hour.”

“I know but I wasn’t going to be rude and make you wait.” Clarke says as she buckles her seatbelt. “I’m not that heartless.”

Lexa snorts, “I almost believe you.”

“Hey!” Clarke says, offended. “I thought we were over my fuck ups?”

“Oh, I am.” Lexa says, double checking her rearview mirror before switching lanes, “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to ever let you forget it.”

“That’s just mean.” Clarke pouts as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“So, who is your OB?” Lexa asks, changing the subject.

“Niylah Jackson.” Clarke says. “She goes by her first name though.”

“She’ll be the one for the delivery and such?” Lexa asks.

“Unless something catastrophic happens.” Clarke says. “She emailed me a birth plan the other day, you can see it if you’d like when we get back.”

“I don’t have to.” Lexa says, “If you’re comfortable with it, so am I.”

They walk into the doctor’s office a few minutes later and are brought straight to the back; with the storm the night before and some of the roads still in bad shape, many people had canceled their appointments.

“Miss Griffin!” Dr. Niylah greets as she walks into the room. “You’re one of my only patients of the day. I hope the roads weren’t in too bad of shape for you.”

“No, they were fine, thank you.” Clarke says, adjusting herself on the medical table.

“Another friend?” Dr. Niylah asks, a smile on her face as she notices Lexa. “You have a great support group, Clarke. It’s nice to see you’re not alone in this.”

“This is Lexa Woods, she’s uh, she’s actually the baby’s mother.” Clarke says, unable to meet the other woman’s eyes.

Dr. Niylah shakes Lexa’s hand; she motions to the the empty chair beside Clarke, “Have a seat and we’ll get started. Before you go though Miss Woods, I’d like to get some of your medical history, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Lexa says as she anxiously bounces her leg up and down. “Not a problem at all.”

“You’re almost 15 weeks, if I remember correctly.” Dr. Niylah says. “You should be able to find out the sex of the baby on your next visit.”

Lexa eyes grow wide, “What?”

“If the baby is in a decent position we should be able to find out the gender, if you choose to know, obviously.” Dr. Niylah says as she starts to set everything up like she did the last time. “Clarke, have you been taking your prenatal vitamins? How is your morning sickness?”

“Yes, I have and it comes and goes.” Clarke says, “Some days are better than others, I guess.”

“Unfortunately that’s a side effect.” Dr. Niylah says as she places the cold gel on Clarke’s already exposed stomach. “We should be able to hear a heartbeat today. I know you’ve been waiting for it.”

Lexa looks from Clarke to the ultrasound machine, her attention on the dark screen in front of her. It takes her a moment to realize but when she does she feels tears in her eyes as the heartbeat fills the room.

“Very strong heartbeat.” Dr. Niylah notes as she continues to move around the probe; she points to the screen. “He or she is very comfortable, no distress or signs of anything wrong. You two have a very healthy baby.”

Without much thought, Clark reaches for Lexa’s hand and squeezes it in reassurance, “I… I can’t believe it.”

Lexa quickly wipes the tears from her eyes and releases Clarke’s hand to do so; she looks at the doctor, “Will… Is there a chance this child will have my condition? Is there any way we can tell?”

“Not until birth, unfortunately.” Dr. Niylah tells her. “Don’t worry about that, sweetheart. Right now all you need to focus on is that your baby is healthy and strong and that they are being taken care of. You’re doing an amazing job so far, Clarke, keep it up.”

Clarke pulls her shirt back over her belly when Niylah wipes the gel off and sits back up on the edge of the table, “Is that all for today?”

“It sure is.” Dr. Niylah says, “Just make another appointment up front and I’ll see you around this time next month. Lexa, if you want to hang back for a minute or two so and I can get some of your history, that would be wonderful.”

0o0o0

Lexa puts the car in park once they’re in the Griffin driveway; she turns to look at Clarke with a smile on her face, “Thank you, for letting me come.”

“Don’t thank me, you have every right to be there.” Clarke says. “You never have to ask me, just show up. I won’t mind.”

Lexa nods, “There’s an actual baby.”

Clarke laughs and presses a palm to her small, barely there bump. “Do you want to run and hide yet? I know I wanted to when I found out.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Lexa says, matter of fact. “I promised I was going to be here for this baby and I meant it. Speaking of, I’m going to start wiring over some money into your account once a week.”

“Why?” Clarke asks. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know your parents have money but it isn’t their responsibility.” Lexa says, toying with her steering wheel cover. “It’ll help out on medical bills and baby things, you know, whatever you think you’ll need.”

“Are you sure?” Clarke asks. “I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything.”

“I’m positive.” Lexa says, “It’s the least I could do with you carrying my child and everything. You know, I was told I would never be able to have kids and… Just thank you.”

“You’re thanking me for getting pregnant as a teenager and possibly screwing up our entire lives?” Clarke stares at her in amazement. “That’s a first.”

“You forget that it takes two to make a baby.” Lexa says. “I’m just as guilty but just because we hit an obstacle in life, doesn’t mean everything has to change. Yeah, it might take a little while longer to do certain things but I think we can do it. I know _you_ can.”

“I’m still waiting for you to punch me in the face.”

“Well, you’ll be waiting for a while because it’s not going to happen.” Lexa says, “I told you I wasn’t mad at you and I meant it. We might not be able to change the past but we can sure as hell learn from it.”

“Do you want to come in?” Clarke asks, voice barely above a whisper. “My parents would actually like to meet you at some point in their lives.”

“Can I give a rain check?” Lexa asks, “I promise I’ll come by one day but I’ve already left my brother alone for long enough and I’m afraid he’ll accidentally catch the kitchen on fire again if I don’t get home.”

“He set your kitchen on fire?”

“Fucker can’t cook to save his life.” Lexa laughs. “I’ll see you at school?”

Clarke nods and gets out of the car; she hesitates for a moment before reaching back inside and giving Lexa a kiss on the cheek, “Drive safe.”

Lexa blinks in shock and watches as Clarke makes her way inside; it takes her nearly five minutes to get her barring’s straight before she finally makes her way back to her house and thankfully to a normal kitchen.

It’s not until later that night when she’s almost asleep when her phone dings with a new message from Clarke and a smile forms on her face. The blonde sent her a picture with a bump, much bigger than what it was that morning with the caption _it finally popped._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For updates and such follow me at so-far-from-heaven-now.tumblr.com


	7. Negative Space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last bit of drama, I promise, hang in there. Everything is looking up after this; thanks for sticking around.

Lexa knocks on the front door of the Griffin household before taking a step back and shoving her hands nervously into her back pockets as she waits for someone to answer. Earlier that week, Clarke had invited her over to finally meet her parents and considering Lexa had promised to do just that, she agreed without a second thought. The brunette double checks her outfit through the window to make sure that she is in fact dressed appropriately for this occasion (although it’s very hard to go wrong with skinny jeans and a plain t-shirt). She might act like she doesn’t care what people think about her but in reality it matters a lot; especially when she’s about to meet the parents of the girl she knocked up because she was too careless to use protection.

The door opens several seconds later and a blonde-haired man in his early forties stands before her, a dopey grin on his face, “Lexa Woods?”

“Uh, yeah.” Lexa straightens up and holds her hand out. “That’s me.”

Jake shakes the young soccer player’s hand and steps aside before motioning her to come inside, “Abby and Clarke are in the kitchen.”

“Thank you.” Lexa says, stepping out of the bitter cold and into the warm house, “It’s very nice to meet you, Mr. Griffin.”

“Call me Jake!” Jake says, “We’re gonna be a family, no need for last names. Come on, dinner is almost ready. Feel free to take your jacket off and get comfortable if you want, we’re pretty laid back here.”

Lexa, clearly surprised at the kindness of the older man, shrugs her jacket off and places it neatly on the empty chair in the foyer. She follows him out of the living room and down the hall into the kitchen where she finds Clarke sitting at the table, talking softly to her mother.

“Lexa, hey!” Clarke says, jumping up.

“Clarke.” Lexa nods, her eyes trailing to the blonde’s growing bump; it’s been there for a few weeks but she still isn’t used to it. “How are you?”

“I’m okay.” Clarke says, “What about you?”

“I’m fine, thank you.”

Clarke bites back the smile pulling at her lips at Lexa’s adorableness; she turns and motions to her mother, “Mom, this is Lexa. Lexa, my mom.”

Abby stands up and moves to shake Lexa’s awaiting hand, “It’s very nice to meet you, sweetheart. Clarke has told us a lot about you.”

“We appreciate you taking the time to stop by and talk with us.” Jake says, pulling a dish out of the oven and setting it on the counter. “We know you’re very busy with school and sports at the moment.”

“It’s no problem, really.” Lexa says honestly, “This is far more important; it’s about time we discuss everything so we’re all on the same page.”

“What about your parents? Do they know?” Abby asks, waving at the chair across from her. “You can sit down, if you would like.”

Lexa quickly sits down before focusing her attention back on the woman across from her, “My father is out of town a majority of the time but yes, he knows what’s going on. My mother passed away when I was younger.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Abby frowns as she gets up and starts grabbing plates from out of the cabinet. “Do you have any siblings?”

“Just a younger brother, Aden.” Lexa says.

Abby sets a plate in front of her before setting the rest of table; Jake following right behind her to situate the food for them, “Clarke tells us you’re attending Polis U in the fall, is that true?”

Lexa nods and thanks Clarke when the blonde makes a plate for her; “Yes ma’am, I’ve got a scholarship to play soccer there”

“That works out perfectly.” Jake says, making his way over to the fridge, “What would you like to drink, Lexa?”

“Just water, please.”

“You sure? We have a bunch of juice, some tea, soda?”

“Lexa’s a health guru, dad.” Clarke says, “I’ve told you like ten times.”

“Right, I forgot.” Jake says, shaking his head in amusement. “If only her habits would rub off on you, you eat terribly.”

“I do not!” Clarke frowns, “I eat like any other teenager.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s good for you.” Lexa quips. “I won’t be surprised if our kid comes out addicted to sugar. Don’t think I haven’t seen Octavia or Raven sneaking sodas and candy to you during class; you aren’t that subtle.”

“I like this one.” Jake says, sitting down next to his wife, a smile on his face. “Someone that’ll actually keep you in line.”

“Okay, she’s not that innocent.” Clarke says with a huff. “I’m not the bad influence here; how do you think I ended up pregnant in the first place.”

Lexa nearly chokes on her water, eyes wide, “I…”

“How many times have I told you that you’re not only caring for yourself anymore?” Abby asks, changing the subject to the previous one to avoid any more awkwardness, “I know you don’t want to give up certain things but you’re gonna have to if you want a healthy baby.”

“If I would’ve known you three would try and gang up on me…”

The rest of the dinner goes by smoothly; Jake and Abby trying to learn as much about Lexa as they possibly can and only embarrassing Clarke every so often. Once the kitchen is clean, thanks to Clarke and Lexa, the four of them move into the living room to discuss future plans for the baby.

“So, the two of you aren’t together.” Jake states, matter of fact.

“Seriously?” Clarke asks, glaring at him as she sits next to Lexa on the couch. “Do we really need to talk about this?”

“Of course we do.” Abby deadpans; she looks at her daughter. “Not only are the two of you still in high school and going to college in just a few short months but you’re having a baby together. It would already be hard enough with you being in a relationship but the fact that you aren’t in one makes things much more difficult.”

“I assure you that won’t a problem.” Lexa says as she rubs her palms against her jeans to calm her nerves. “Clarke and I have talked thoroughly about this and I think we’re in agreement that this baby will be loved and taken care of, no matter the circumstances.”

“I have no doubt in that.” Abby says. “What about living arrangements? Who will pay for what? How will things go when you’re in school?”

“Student athletes have the option to live off campus in the neighboring apartments instead of the dorms. I told Clarke that if she would like I could talk to the Dean and see if it would be alright for them to live with me too, considering the circumstances. I’d hate to have a small child switching back and forth almost daily just to see the both of us.”

“That’s actually a really wonderful idea.” Abby says, clearly impressed with the soccer player. “Clarke, why haven’t you told us this?”

Clarke shrugs as she looks between the three of them, “It’s not set in stone yet and we’re still working things out. It is the best option though.”

“It’s a much better choice than Clarke driving nearly two hours a day for the next four years; not to mention we can hire a nanny to watch the baby while we’re in class.” Lexa says, glancing at the blonde. “Whatever is easier for you, of course; we’ll make it work one way or another.”

“Yeah, okay.” Clarke says, voice barely above a whisper.

“My mother left us money when she died so I have more than enough to take care of the both of them.” Lexa continues, “I don’t want you two to think that you have to pay for our mistake, even though it’s not really a mistake but you get what I mean. This baby is our responsibility and I want you to know that you won’t ever have to worry about its well-being, that is completely up to us.”

“Clarke Griffin, I could strangle you.”

Clarke looks at her father, confused, “What’d I do?”

“You kept this girl in the dark for months!” Jake says, “How in the hell could you ever do something like that? She’s a literal angel. When I see Octavia and Raven tomorrow I’m gonna ground the hell out of them.”

“They’re eighteen, dad, and not your children.”

“I don’t care!” Jake says, flabbergasted. “I’ve known Lexa for all of an hour and she’s the most rational person out of all of us. You’re my daughter and I love you more than life itself but sweetie, you were an idiot.”

“I was scared!” Clarke says, trying to defend herself.

“I’m sorry about them.” Abby says to Lexa, ignoring her husband and daughter’s bickering to talk to the girl, “Jake loves to mess with her about how long it took for her to tell you because he knows it gets on her last nerve. I hope he didn’t bother you…”

“Of course not.” Lexa says, “What’s in the past is in the past.”

Abby pats her knee, “I’m glad you’re in her life; she needs someone like you to keep her grounded. Obviously most parents aren’t too thrilled at the fact that their teenage daughter is pregnant but I believe things happen for a reason. I know you’ll do right by them, no matter what.”

0o0o0

Lexa walks into her bedroom the next day, a smile on her face as she finds Clarke sound asleep on her bed, snoring softly. It’s been almost a month since the two of them started fixing things and with each passing day they seem to be growing closer, despite their many problems in the past. The feelings are still there and even though it’s unspoken territory, they sometimes have a temporary lapse in judgment; although they never take it too far. They might be getting better but they both know that they aren’t even close to taking that next step to figure out whatever it is that they are to one another; it doesn’t mean they can’t sometimes cross a line though. They are teenagers after all.

“Clarke, wake up.” Lexa says, nudging the younger girl softly. “You still have to study for your Government midterm.”

“I don’t wanna.” Clarke mumbles, her voice laced with sleep.

“It’s 40 percent of your grade.” Lexa tries again as she sits on the edge of the mattress. “You were just telling me earlier that you’ve barely paid any attention all year and that Jordan and Green have been doing your work.”

“Do it for me.” Clarke slurs, curling further into the pillows.

“That would benefit no one.” Lexa says, “I’ve already taken it.”

“Exactly, so just tell me the answers.” Clarke says, sighing in defeat. She sits up and leans against the headboard, a glare placed firmly on her face.

“You’re ridiculous.” Lexa states, as she taps the blonde’s open textbook. “Come on, you want that art scholarship, don’t you?”

“I forgot how serious about school you were.” Clarke says reluctantly as she pulls the book onto her lap. “I’m the mother of your child, you should be letting me do whatever I want. You know, like doing things for me that I don’t want to do; it’s only fair.”

“You really wanna go down that route?” Lexa asks, an eyebrow raised in challenge as she looks at the girl. “Because who was the one who wasn’t even sure if they were going to tell me about said child in the first place?”

Clarke slaps the brunette’s thigh, “Low blow, Woods.”

Lexa smirks, “I’m never gonna let you live it down.”

“You’re just like my parents and I hate it.”

“I think they’re pretty awesome.” Lexa shrugs as she stands back up. “They obviously care a lot about you, not everyone has that.”

“Has your dad really not talked to you since you told him?” Clarke asks with a frown. “I know he’s out of the country but…”

“Woods are supposed to be perfect throughout their entire life.” Lexa says, gathering some clothes for after her shower. “Not am I only intersex and a lesbian but I got someone pregnant at eighteen. I refuse to go to Yale or Harvard and I don’t really want to join the family business so this just puts the icing on the cake or whatever. It doesn’t bother me though, Aden and I have never really been that close with him, you know?”

“It still doesn’t mean that it’s right.” Clarke says. “People make mistakes all of the time but it doesn’t define who they are.”

“I agree but not everybody else does.” Lexa says, pulling her t-shirt off to reveal her tank-top, “I’m going to go take a shower, do you need anything?”

“Pizza?”

“You’ve had pizza like three times this week.” Lexa says, giving her a look. “Did you not listen to anything your mother said last night?”

“Don’t be an asshole.” Clarke says. “Give me what I want.”

“Demanding much?” Lexa rolls her eyes. “How about some real food? Like, I don’t know, meat and vegetables for a change.”

“Your baby wants pizza which does have meat and vegetables.” Clarke argues. “Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I have to be on strict diet, thank you very much. Are you really going to deny your offspring?”

“How many more months of this do we have left?”

“Five months.” Clarke smiles. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

“How about tonight we eat something somewhat decent and then tomorrow on my way home from practice I can run by that new restaurant downtown that makes everything organic.”

“Still pizza?”

Lexa nods, “Yes Clarke, still fucking pizza.”

“Fine but it better be the best damn pizza on the face of the planet; no tasting like grass and shit.” Clarke scrunches her face in disgust. “I just don’t understand how you can drink alcohol out the ass but refuse to even eat chicken nuggets from McDonald’s. It makes no sense.”

“There’s always an exception with alcohol.” Lexa says, heading towards the bedroom door. “Give me twenty minutes and I’ll fix dinner.”

Clarke mumbles something incoherent before focusing her attention on her studying.

Lexa wakes up the following morning to an empty bed; it takes her a second to adjust to the sunlight seeping through her windows but when she does she notices that Clarke is nowhere in sight. Sighing in defeat, Lexa rolls out of bed and slips her glasses onto her face before making her way out of her bedroom and down the hallway where she knows the blonde will be; and of course she finds the younger on the bathroom floor.

“You okay?” Lexa asks, leaning against the door frame. “I didn’t hear you get up.”

“Hurts.” Clarke murmurs, her palms pressed into her stomach as she opens her eyes to look at the brunette. “It only gets worse.”

Lexa walks into the bathroom and kneels down in front of her, “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it feel better?”

“Un-pregnant me.” Clarke says. “I don’t wanna do this anymore.”

“I think it’s too late for that, Clarke.” Lexa says, sitting down next to her. “How long have you been up? Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Just a few minutes.” Clarke says, “You’ve gotten up with me every day this week and you have a game today, I didn’t want to bother you.”

“I highly doubt twenty minutes it’s going to throw me off.” Lexa says, “When I said I’d be there for you I meant in every way.”

“Thanks but it’s not like there’s much you can do.” Clarke says, taking a deep breath to try and calm the nausea. “It just has to run it’s course.”

“My mother had morning sickness the entire time she was pregnant with Aden.”

Clarke groans, “Don’t tell me that.”

“Does Dr. Niylah know of anything that will ease it a bit?” Lexa asks, starting to rub her back comfortingly. “There has to be something.”

“There’s a pamphlet in my backpack but I think it’s more about what to expect than how to deal with it.” Clarke says, resting her head on Lexa’s shoulder. “Make it stop.”

“I’m sorry.” Lexa says and she means it; she feels terrible that she, for once in her life, can’t fix the problem at hand and help her. “Can I go and get my phone? I can google some stuff.”

“I have mine.” Clarke says, pulling her phone out of her bra.

“You sleep with your phone in your bra?” Lexa asks, amused.

“It’s a habit.” Clarke says, “Don’t be a jerk.”

Lexa shakes her head and opens Safari; she quickly types in a few words and she can’t help but roll her eyes at what she finds, “Clarke…”

“What?” Clarke snaps, half asleep.

“Here.” Lexa says, motioning for her to look at the phone. “You aren’t doing a single one of these things. You aren’t drinking enough or getting the protein you need; you barely sleep six hours a night. Look, you can even have breakfast in bed to make things a little easier on you.”

“Who in the fuck has time for that?” Clarke asks seriously, “I’m not about to get up an extra hour earlier just to eat breakfast, Lexa, that’s stupid.”

“I’m not saying you have to, jackass.” Lexa says, setting the phone on the floor. “I could probably cut my morning runs short and make you breakfast on the mornings you’re here and bring it up to you. You won’t have to worry about making anything either, it’ll already be ready by the time you wake up and that’ll save you like twenty minutes.”

“You’d do that?” Clarke asks, looking up at her.

“I’ve been doing it for Aden and I for years, I think I can manage.”

“And I thought I was special.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Griffin.” Lexa says, standing back up. “You think you’re okay now or do you still need a little while? We can always skip first period if it’s really bad, you know Kane won’t care.”

“I’m fine.” Clarke says, pushing herself up off the floor. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Lexa says, shifting from foot to foot. “I’ll uh… I’ll go wake up Aden and come check on you in a few, alright?”

Clarke nods, “I’ll be here.”

0o0o0

Lexa walks into TONDC, the new restaurant in the heart of downtown to pick up the take-out she had called in earlier for dinner. She quickly thanks the teenage boy at the counter and makes her way towards the door, only to be stopped by none other than Finn Collins.

“Woods, right?”

“You know who I am, don’t act like you don’t.” Lexa says, rolling her eyes for what feels like the hundredth time that day, “What do you want?”

“I hear that Clarke is pregnant.” Finn laughs, his wavy hair falling into his face as he talks. “Knew it was only a matter of time before it happened.”

Lexa clenches her jaw, “Your point?”

“I’ve heard that its yours.” Finn smirks. “Do you really believe it or did she just guilt you into thinking that so she doesn’t have to deal with it all by herself? Clarke is sneaky that way.”

“I don’t think it’s any of your concern, actually.” Lexa says, shifting the bag in her hand to her other one. “If you’ll excuse me…”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s mine.” Finn says, “Not that I’d ever claim the thing anyways; I’d have to be stuck with her for 18 years. To be honest, she probably doesn’t even have any clue whose it is and just found the first person that would fall for her lies. Sad really, you falling for it.”

“Grow up.” Lexa says, “Stop trying to start shit just because she stopped fucking you; it’s pathetic.”

“Do you really think I care about some dumb blonde who can’t keep her legs closed to save her life?” Finn chuckles. “God, I just feel sorry for the kid, not only does it have a fucked up mother but it has a fucked up… what are you exactly? A boy or a girl? I never quite underst…”

“Go to hell.” Lexa says, punching him square in the face; she pushes past him and makes her way onto the near empty street.

“If I were you, I’d get a DNA test!” Finn calls after her, a hand over his bloody nose. “Wouldn’t want a poor sucker like you stuck with someone for no reason at all just to raise a kid that isn’t even yours.”

 Lexa angrily throws the pizza box into the back seat, not caring about the damage she might have caused to it as she climbs into the front seat. She slams the door behind her and pulls out into the street, heading in the direction of the house. Leave it to some jealous mother fucker to ruin her night and make her doubt everything she was just starting to accept.

She walks through the front door and shoves the box into Aden’s awaiting arms, “It’s all yours.” She growls as she heads up the stairs to her room.

Wanting nothing more than to try and sleep off the feeling in her chest, she strips down to her boxers and her tank-top and crawls into bed. Just as she goes to turn her lamp off, her phone vibrates.

Clarke (6:47pm): _You home yet?_

Clarke (6:55pm): _Can I come over?_

Clarke (7:10pm): _Lex?_

**Lexa (7:15pm):** _Sick, gonna try to sleep it off. Rain check._

Clarke (7:16pm): _What’s wrong? Is there anything I can do?_

**Lexa (7:20pm):** _I’m fine, just a 24-hour bug. No big deal._

Clarke (7:22pm): _Okay, if you say so. Get some sleep; I hope you feel better._

Lexa tosses her phone on her nightstand and turns the lamp off. She knows that she shouldn’t believe Finn, of all people, but she can’t help it. She might come off as confident under her _Commander_ façade but in reality she’s probably one of the most insecure people on the planet.

0o0o0

“Where’s your girlfriend?” Murphy asks Clarke, a smirk on his lips as the blonde sits across from him. “You never come to the cafeteria anymore.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Clarke says, giving him a look. “And she’s at home, she isn’t feeling good. I think she has a virus.”

“You gonna go take care of her?” Octavia asks, turning her attention on her best friend. “Like, in all the years I’ve known her, she’s never been sick. God, is she gonna miss practice? We have a game tomorrow!”

“I don’t know!” Clarke says, holding her hands up in defense. “She sent me a text last night and that’s all I know. I’m gonna take her some stuff during my free period but until then, I know nothing. Calm the fuck down.”

“You’re worried about her.” Monty points out. “That’s cute.”

“I’m not- _Shut up._ ” Clarke says, kicking the boy under the table.

“You’ve spent nearly ever day with her for weeks!” Raven says, taking a bit of her sandwich. “Who the fuck you tryin’ to fool, Griff? We aren’t stupid; you two are gonna be back to banging in no time.”

“I don’t want to… I hate you all so much.” Clarke says, burying her face in her hands. “I’m trying to work things out with her, nothing else.”

“Sure.” Octavia sing-songs. “Like we don’t know you.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to something more…” Clarke says, barely above a whisper and she regrets it as soon as the words leave her mouth.

“WHAT!” Octavia and Raven yell simultaneously.

“It only took you eight months, four days, six hours and thirty-seven seconds to finally admit it.” Raven says as she happily takes several twenty dollar bills from Monty, Jasper and Miller.

“You’ve been keeping track?” Clarke says, “That’s impossible. Wait, have you guys been betting on my love life this entire time?”

“The lack there of.” Octavia mumbles. “We knew it was only a matter of time before you finally admitted how you felt.”

“We aren’t there yet.” Clarke shrugs. “We might never be, I don’t know.”

“You’re at her house almost every night, your parents fucking love her, she’s already sorta asked you to move in with her and she makes you breakfast in god damn bed every morning!” Octavia says. “Lincoln isn’t that romantic and we’re actually a couple!”

“It’s only for the baby.”

“We all know that’s not true.” Octavia says, “Stop lying to yourself and face facts that this is more than just about your accidental love child.”

The bell rings and Clarke sighs in relief, “I don’t know why I talk to you about anything, you’re always jumping to conclusions.”

“We’ve known you since we were basically in diapers, Griff.” Raven says, patting her on the back. “You can’t hide shit from us.”

“Whatever.” Clarke says, pulling her backpack on. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Not gonna come back?” Octavia asks, wiggling her eyebrows. “Scandalous.”

Clarke flips her off as she makes her way out to the parking lot.

On the way to Lexa’s house, she stops by the local grocery store and grabs the basic essentials a person would need for when they’re sick. She arrives nearly fifteen minutes later; she grabs the several bags from her backseat and heads up to the door, knocking softly.

The door opens seconds later to reveal Lexa, in leggings and an oversized sweatshirt, perfectly healthy, “Uh, hey.” Clarke says, slightly confused. “I haven’t heard from you all day and I wanted to bring you some things.”

Lexa adjusts her glasses and sighs, “You didn’t have to do that, Clarke.”

“I know but I _wanted_ to.” Clarke says, feeling stupid already. “Obviously you’re right because you clearly aren’t sick and…”

“What do you want?” Lexa asks.

Clarke stares at her, taken aback, “Did I do something?”

“No, of course.” Lexa says, voice sharp.

“Can I… Can I come in?” Clarke asks, motioning to the bags. “These are kinda heavy.”

Lexa takes them from her but steps aside anyways, “Yeah, sure.”

“You’re angry.” Clarke states. “What happened?”

“Were you with Finn when we first started sleeping together?” Lexa asks, cutting right to the chase; she’s sick of being in the dark.

“Wait, what?” Clarke asks, “What does Finn have to do with anything?”

“Answer the question, Clarke.”

“I- No, I wasn’t.” Clarke says, running a hand through her hair. “He wanted to but I… I turned him down every time.”

“How am I supposed to believe you?” Lexa asks.

Clarke shifts uncomfortably, “Is this what all of this is about, did he say something to you?”

“Maybe.” Lexa says, heading into the kitchen to set the bags down. “You told me there were other people when we first started fucking around; am I supposed to just think you really did lie about the entire thing? What if you told the others and they didn’t want this and I was the only one stupid enough to stick by you.”

Clarke feels tears in her eyes but blinks them back, “I… We can still do a DNA test and it’ll prove to you that I’m telling the truth. I don’t know why I lied to you, Lexa and I wish I could take it back but I can’t. You have to believe me when I say that this is your baby.”

“I need some time, Clarke.” Lexa says, unable to look at her. “You say one thing but everyone else says another and I’m being pulled in two different directions. I want to believe you but I don’t know if I can.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” Clarke says, voice quiet. “I’ll go.”

“Thanks for the stuff.” Lexa says, “I appreciate it.”

“It wasn’t a problem.” Clarke says and she hates the way her voice cracks as she heads towards the door, “Have a good night.”


	8. Reason To Believe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the updates have been frantic and not been consistent with the days I promised. School and work take up a majority of my time but no matter what a chapter will be released at least once a week, so don't worry. 
> 
> Again, I thank you for all of the feedback, it means a lot to me.

****

Clarke wakes to a sharp pain in her abdomen, nearly knocking the air from her lungs as it continues to ripple through her body. Blindly, she reaches for the light on her nightstand, sighing in relief once the soft glow of the bulb illuminates her small room. There’s a stickiness between her legs that shouldn’t be there and it only takes her a minute to realize that something is off; looking down she finds that her sleep shorts are spotted with blood and her eyes grow wide with panic.

“DAD!” Clarke yells, her voice shaky. “DAD! I NEED YOU!”

Jake comes stumbling into the room seconds later, tripping over his pajama bottoms as he looks at his daughter, “What? What’s wrong?”

Clarke motions to herself, “I- I don’t…”

“Hey, calm down.” Jake says, realizing what his little girl is referring to. He wipes the sleep from his eyes and kneels in front of her, “It’s gonna be okay, honey, just relax. Does anything hurt?”

“My stomach.” Clarke says, voice barely above a whisper. “I’m bleeding and I know that’s not a good sigh and what if…”

“Mom is at work, I’ll call her, alright?” Jake says, pressing a kiss to Clarke’s forehead. “Get dressed and I’ll be right back.”

Clarke swallows the lump in her throat and nods as she stands up; she waits until her father is out of the room before she changes into a clean pair of clothes. She haphazardly throws her hair into a bun and makes her way out and into the hallway where Jake is waiting for her.

“You ready?” Jake asks, resting a hand on the small of her back.

“Yeah.” Clarke says, following him down the stairs and into the garage where his SUV is parked. “I’m scared.”

“You have a right to be, sweetie, but I’m sure it’s gonna be okay.” Jake says, pulling out onto the street. “We’ll be there soon.”

“I’ve felt them move, it hasn’t been a lot but it was a little and now I don’t feel anything at all.” Clarke says, choking back a sob.

“Don’t worry too much.” Jake says, squeezing her knee. “You used to scare your mother and I all the time before you were born but it turns out you just liked to sleep a lot. I bet it’s something simple.”

Clarke places an open palm on her bump, trying to relax, “Okay.”

They arrive at the emergency room several minutes later and Jake barely has enough time to put the car in park before his wife is ripping open the passenger side door and checking over their daughter. 

“How are you?” Abby asks the blonde, a small smile on her face.

Clarke bites her lip, trying not to cry, “I’m fine.”

“Lets gets inside, okay?” Abby says, helping her stand up. “Jackson is waiting for us in my office. I’ve got everything set up for you.”

“I’m gonna park the car.” Jake says, pressing a kiss to Clarke’s forehead before doing the same to Abby. “I’ll be right in.”

“I need to call Lexa.” Clarke says, following the older woman into the building and to her office. “She should be here.”

“You can call her in a little while.” Abby say, motioning to the exam table she keeps in the corner of her room. “No need to have two people stressed out if it turns out to be nothing. We need to figure out what’s going on with you and this baby first. Come on, lay down.”

Clarke nods and does as she’s told; she pulls her shirt over her stomach and can’t help but shiver when the gel comes in contact with her skin. “Mom, what if something happened?”

Abby starts to move the probe, her eyes trained on the screen in front of her as she talks to Clarke, “Just give it a second, baby girl; we’ll have an idea of what’s going on soon.”

0o0o0

Lexa walks into her first period class and sits down next to Anya; it only takes her a moment to realize that the room is unusually quiet and that’s when she realizes that none of ‘The Delinquents’ are in sight. A feelings of uncertainty washes over her as she furrows her brow in confusion; in the many years she’s had classes with them, she’s never known them to all miss class at once unless something serious had happened.

“Finally, a day of peace and quiet.” Anya says from beside her, sighing happily. “I can only handle one of them at a time, maybe two.”

Lexa gives her a look, “You’re aware that you’ve been dating one of them for a while now, right? Or did that completely slip your mind.”

Anya scoffs, “Raven is only a five-year-old around them, she’s not like that all the time. I love her to death but I don’t mind the silence for once.”

“Did you just say you love her?” Lexa asks, an eyebrow raised in surprise.

“Shut the fuck up.” Anya says, kicking her cousin in the shin. “At least I’ve learned to accept it and admit how I feel, not be some coward about it.”

“That’s not fair, you asshole.” Lexa says, glaring at her. “You know Clarke and I’s situation is very different from yours.”

“How is she, by the way?” Anya asks, “You haven’t spoken to her in days.”

“I’ve texted her off and on.” Lexa shrugs. “I think she’s fine.”

“You still gonna get a DNA test?” Anya asks, checking her phone. “Honestly Lex, I love you but I think it’s time for you to figure out once and for all if this kid is yours so the two of you can move on. I don’t even know why you let that dick, Finn, get in your head in the first place.”

“It’s complicated.” Lexa says, crossing her arms over her chest. “I want to believe her, I really do, but our entire relationship has been based off of lies. Every time we take a step forward it’s like we take ten steps back.”

“You let people get to you.” Anya says, “You know the truth, whether you want to admit it or not, you do. Stop being so scared of the what if’s and fucking do something about it. I know what Clarke did was fucked up but that’s in the past and trust me, that says a lot coming from me. Stop with this whole back and forth thing; either fix things and be a happy family or cut your losses and move on. You’re running out of time.”

“I don’t know how to apologize.” Lexa admits, a guilty look on her face. “I think a part of me is still upset about how everything went down between us and I took it out on her. She’s been trying and I ignored that.”

“Look at you, being all adult about this.” Anya says, “Since when have I ever known you to apologize over how you acted. I don’t know if I should be proud that you’re growing up or sad that you’re turning into a giant softy.”

“I really fucking hate you sometimes.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Anya says, rolling her eyes. “You know I’m right.”

Their teacher starts class and Lexa spends the entire time unable to shake the feeling in her gut that something is wrong. When the bell rings, she tosses her things into her backpack and makes her way out into the hall, Anya following close behind; she hopes that maybe Clarke is just running late and that she’ll be in Chemistry.

“Lex! Jesus, there you are!” Lincoln says, sighing in relief as he spots his sister and cousin coming out of the classroom. “Hold up.”

Lexa looks at Lincoln, obviously confused, “Where were you?”

“I was with O last night.” Lincoln says, waving her off. “Never mind that; Clarke’s in the hospital. I think she’s okay but everyone has been trying to reach you for the past hour. I finally told them I’d just come get you.”

“Wait, what?” Lexa pulls her phone from her pocket and sees that she has at least seven missed calls, “Fuck.” She looks at the dark-haired man, “What happened? Is she okay? How long has she been there?”

“I don’t know, I think so and only a few hours.” Lincoln says, adjusting his jacket. “Go. I’ll let all your teachers know what’s up.”

“I don’t care about any of that.” Lexa says, trying to stay calm. “I, uh. I gotta go, I’ll text you guys later, okay?”

“You want us to come with?” Anya asks. “Just in case?”

Lexa shakes her head, “No, it’s fine. Thank you though.”

Without another word, Lexa makes her way through the crowds of people before pushing past the double doors and getting into her car. She throws her things onto the passenger seat and speeds out of the parking lot, not caring about anything else other than Clarke. The uneasiness in her stomach only growing more as she gets closer and closer to her destination.

In what feels like record time, she’s parking her car in the front of the hospital and heading inside, searching for anyone she might know. After realizing that the receptionist has no idea what is going on, she takes off in the direction of the waiting room, sighing in relief when she finds all of Clarke’s friend spread out throughout the room.

“Woods, there you are!” Bellamy says, standing up abruptly. “You have some fucking nerve showing up here, you know that, right? Clarke is here because of you and all the bullshit you’re putting her through.”

Lexa clenches her jaw; not only is she surprised to find the older boy there but it’s far too early to be starting a fight, “We’re not doing this.”

“Like hell we are!” Bellamy says, taking another steps towards her. “When are you going to learn that no one wants you here? This might be your kid but that doesn’t mean you should stick around; you’re no good for anyone!”

“Dude, that’s enough.” Monty says, looking up from his phone. “You’re not even supposed to be here right now but we’re letting you. Drop it.”

“How can none of you see that this bitch right here is the entire problem!” Bellamy roars, not caring about the other people in the room. “Clarke wouldn’t be in this mess if it isn’t for her.”

“Doesn’t it take two to make a baby?” Jasper asks, a smirk on his face; it quickly dissolves at the look Lexa throws at him. “Sorry Lexa.”

Lexa looks at Monty, “Can I see her? Where is she?”

“No, don’t answer that.” Bellamy tells his friend; he looks at Lexa. “You’re a manipulative, cocky, arrogant, faggot who thinks they can treat people any way they see fit. You think it’s okay to take advantage; you probably were like that with Clarke and she wasn’t able to say…

Lexa opens and closes her fist, trying to rid her hand of the pain as she looks down at Bellamy, who is now bleeding on the floor, “ _Don’t_ ever accuse me of that, do you understand? If anything, you’re the one who needs to be charged with sexual harassment. You’ve been pinning after the same girl for God knows how long and refuse to take no for an answer; it’s disgusting. I don’t want to see you here when I get back, got it?”

“Lexa, hey! Bellamy, what the fuck happened to you?” Octavia asks, looking between her soccer captain and brother. She looks kicks the curly haired boy in the ribs, “Get up and go home, no one wants you here.”

“You’re taking her side?” Bellamy asks, sitting up; he wipes the blood from his nose onto his shirt. “Wow, thanks sis.”

“There aren’t any sides, Bell.” Octavia says, helping him up. “You just don’t know when to stop. You’re the only one making things worse. The least you could do is respect Clarke and stay away, at least for now.”

Bellamy scoffs, “Go fuck yourself.”

“Real nice.” Murphy says, making his way over to them. “I’m starting to get really sick and tired of babysitting you. Come on, home we go.”

“No, I want to see Clarke.”

“Not gonna happen.” Lexa says, running a hand through her hair.

“O! Oh, Woods, you’re here.” Raven says, walking into the room, a look of confusion written on her face. “Damn, did I miss the fight?”

“There wasn’t a fight.” Lexa says, starting to get antsy. She’s been there for the past twenty minutes and she still has any idea how Clarke or the baby is doing. “Clarke, how is she? Can someone fucking focus.”

“We just left her.” Octavia says, shoving Bellamy in the direction of the exit. “They’re both completely fine, I promise. She’s resting now. You can go see her if you’d like, Jake and Abby are with her at the moment.”

“Thank you.” Lexa says, nodding. “I’d apologize for hitting your brother…”

“He deserved it.” Octavia gives her a soft smile, “She’ll be happy to see you; room 407B.”

0o0o0

_Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump._

“Heartbeat’s still strong.” Abby says, a smile on her face as she checks the monitor. “All of this stress your putting yourself under isn’t good for you.”

“I know but I’ve just been so distracted lately.” Clarke admits, her eyes red and puffy from crying earlier, “Everything seems like it’s crashing down around me and I can’t take it anymore. Just when I think things are going to get better something happens and it’s ruined. I messed up, I get it.”

“We all make mistakes, honey.” Jake says, “This could’ve been so much worse than it was and your lucky this was only minor. You’re young and have so much to deal with but that doesn’t mean you forget yourself. You have to take your vitamins and eat regularly, you have to focus on you and this baby before anyone else.”

“You make it seem like I don’t care.”

Jakes shakes his head, “I never said that nor do I believe it. You’re a teenager and I get that things are tough but you need to worry about you. Stop letting everyone get too you all the time. Fuck em’.”

“Jacob!” Abby scolds. “Language.”

Jake looks at her sheepishly, “Sorry, babe.” He looks back at their daughter. “We’ll help you, always; you have to remember that. If things become too much or anything of the sort, we’ll be there for you but you have to tell us. You don’t have to deal with this stress on your own.”

“You have a waiting room full of people, don’t forget that.” Abby says, fluffing Clarke’s pillow. “We’re all here for you.”

There’s a knock on the door.

“I’ve got it.” Jake says, standing up; he makes his way over to the door and opens it, a small smile on his face, “Lexa, come on in.”

“Thank you.” Lexa says, taking a hesitant step inside the room.

Abby presses a kiss to Clarke’s cheek, “Your father and I are going to go down to the cafeteria to get some coffee. We’ll be back up later, okay?”

Clarke’s eyes are wide but she nods anyways, “I’ll be here.”

Lexa stands at the edge of the hospital bed, waiting until Jake and Abby have shut the door behind them before she begins to speak, “Are you okay? How’s the baby? What happened? God Clarke, I was so worried.”

Clarke tries to hide the shocked look on her face but fails miserably, “You’re here.” She deadpans, not knowing what else to say.

Lexa moves over to the side of the bed, “Are you- are you both okay?”

“We’re fine.” Clarke says, reaching for Lexa’s hand; she presses it to her stomach for reassurance, “All is well, I promise.”

“What happened?” Lexa repeats her earlier question as she swallows the lump in her throat. She isn’t one for emotions but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t scared out of her mind over Clarke and their baby.

“I, uh- I’ve been stressed.” Clarke says, unable to look at the brunette.

Lexa frowns, “That still doesn’t explain…”

“I haven’t been taking care of myself.” Clarke says, her voice barely above a whisper. “With my scholarship and our constant fighting, I’ve just been so focused on anything other than me and I messed up; I was stupid.”

“Clarke…”

“Don’t.” Clarke says, shaking her head. “If you’re just going to yell at me and tell me how much of a fuck up I am, don’t, I already know that.”

“I wanted to apologize.” Lexa says, bouncing nervously on the balls of her feet, “This is as much of my fault as it is yours. We’ve been fighting and I never even stopped to think about how it was affecting you, so I’m sorry. I’ve been so focused on all that happened between us and what other people have to say that I didn’t pay attention to what I really should have been.”

“Lexa, you have every right to have your doubts.” Clarke says, “I was the one who caused them anyways; I don’t blame you.”

“Can we start over?” Lexa asks, blinking repeatedly to keep the tears from falling; she’s every bit of relieved and upset with herself. “This baby needs a stable home and parents and I want to give them that.”

“We can do the DNA test before I’m discharged.” Clarke says, motioning to her stomach, “I don’t want you to keep feelings like this.”

“I believe you.” Lexa says, truthfully as she starts to run her fingers up and down the growing bump, “I won’t ask for one again, I trust you.”

“I don’t mind.” Clarke tells her, “I completely understand.”

“A part of me has always known you’ve been telling the truth.” Lexa says, sitting down in the empty chair beside the blonde. “I’ve been stubborn.”

“I think we both have.” Clarke agrees.

“I’m glad your okay.” Lexa mumbles, after a minute. “I don’t know what would’ve happened if it was something really serious. I don’t think I could handle losing you, either of you.”

Clarke’s jaw nearly drops at the admission, “I…”

“I want you to move in with me.” Lexa says, green eyes meeting blue as she continues on with what she has to say, “You’ve been staying at my place a lot over the past few weeks and I want it to become permanent, at least until the baby is born. I want us to be able to work together, to figure out how were going to do this and I think by living with each other, we can do just that. I want to take care of you, if you’ll let me.”

“I’ll have to talk to my parents.”

“Talk to us about what?” Jake asks, walking into the room with his wife trailing right behind him. “Did you two finally make up?”

“ _Dad.”_ Clarke whines, giving the older man a look. “Shut up.”

Jake hands Lexa a coffee, “This stuff right here is the best.” He says before handing his daughter some apple juice, “Here’s your boring shit.”

Abby rolls her at her husband, “You two okay?”

“I’d like Clarke to move in with me.” Lexa says, cutting to the chase. “I mean, it’s completely up to her but I think it’s the best decision right now. We can try to fix things between us and start to prepare for this baby. We have tons of space and I’d just feel more comfortable if I was able to be there for her any time she would need me.”

“It’s not like anything else can happen.” Jake says, taking a sip of his coffee. “You’re already pregnant.”

Clarke glares at him, “Do you ever stop?”

“I wouldn’t be your father if I did.” Jake says, patting her shoulder. “I think your mother and I can both agree that this decision is yours; you’re almost eighteen anyways. These next few months might do some good for the both of you if you start to get a feel for one another outside of your… extracurricular activities in time for this kid.”

“It’s your call, Clarke.” Abby says, “What you think is best.”

“I think we should do it.” Clarke says, a few seconds later. “It won’t hurt.”

“Are you sure?” Lexa asks, finally removing her hand from Clarke’s stomach, “You really don’t have to, it was just an idea.”

Clarke rolls her eyes, trying to cover the smile pulling at her lips; she might feel a little giddy at the thought of living with Lexa, “I’m sure.”

“Then it’s settled.” Jake says, dramatically putting a hand over his heart. “Our baby girl is going to live in the world of the rich and the famous.”

Clarke throws a pillow at his face, “You’re such an idiot.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters left to go but I promise it isn't over.
> 
> A sequel of one shots are on the way: if you have any ideas or want me to write something regarding their life, just shoot me something in the comments section and I'll try to make it happen.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr at so-far-from-heaven-now.tumblr.com


	9. Lost In You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a dick, I know. 
> 
> I have no excuses, please don't hate me.

“Holy shit.” Raven says, slamming the last box from her car onto Clarke’s new bedroom floor as she looks around. “This room is fucking ridiculous! Like, it’s twice the size of my kitchen!”

“Exaggerate much?” Octavia asks from the floor as she hands Lincoln another piece to the easel they’re trying to set up.

“Definitely not.” Raven says, pulling up her. “I didn’t know Lexa was this loaded; you did good Griff. Way to get knocked up by the right person.”

Clarke, who has just finished setting up pictures, turns to look at the dark haired girl, “Yes, because I definitely did it on purpose.”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” Raven says, tossing the blonde several pillows. “Seriously, you’re gonna be set for life.”

“Lexa and I aren’t even together.” Clarke says, “Besides, I don’t even care about the money; it was never a factor for me.”

“Awww.” Octavia says, a smile on her face. “That was cute.”

“What?” Clarke asks, clearly confused. “What’d I say?”

“Nothing at all.” Octavia says, fist bumping her boyfriend in triumphant when the easel stands up on its own. “You’re just so focused on the past that you don’t realized your head over heals in love with her. Like, you can’t even deny it anymore, it’s so obvious.”

“That doesn’t matter.” Clarke says, knowing she’s no longer able to ignore how she truly feels about the older brunette. “We have to fix us first.”

“In order to do that, you’re gonna have to actually sit down and talk.” Raven says, throwing Lincoln a picture frame to hang up. “You live here now so there’s no reason not to, I mean, you have her at your disposal.”

“My parents work a lot.” Clarke says, tossing her hair up into a messy bun. “Lexa knows this and just wants to keep a better eye on me; I highly doubt she cares about a relationship at the moment.”

“You still have to know where you’re at.” Raven says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You have feelings for each other, even a blind person would know that. Just stop dwelling on the past and take the steps needed to move forward; you either want a relationship or you don’t. Either way, you need to figure it the fuck out.”

“I kind of miss the days when you wanted to castrate her.” Clarke says as she starts to empty another box. “Who knew Raven Reyes would ever be this supportive over anything other than herself.”

“Hey, I’m only thinking of my Godchild here.” Raven says, “I want this kid to have the perfect life and if that means I have to pull your head from your ass and get you to talk to Woods, then so be it.”

“Who said your going to be my child’s Godmother?”

Clarke stills her movements at the voice; she looks up to see Lexa against the door, a smirk on her face, “Oh, uh, hi Lex. I didn’t know you were here.”

“I just got back.” Lexa shrugs, “So, how’s everything?”

“It’s great.” Clarke says, trying to keep her eyes on Lexa’s face and not her sweat covered body. “We don’t have that much to unpack.”

“I see that.” Lexa says, “I’m gonna go take a shower but come get me if you need me? I’ll order everyone dinner when I get out.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Clarke says, “We can figure something out.”

“There’s hardly anything in the kitchen that you’ll like.” Lexa says, “Speaking of, remind me to give you my card sometime this week so you can go get the things you like.”

“That’s very sweet of you but I don’t want to take your money.”

“It’s the least I could do.” Lexa says, “It’s no big deal.”

“I love how I’ve been standing here for the past five minutes and you haven’t said a word to me.” Lincoln rolls his eyes. “You’re smitten.”

Lexa flips him off, “Have I told you I hate you lately?”

“You do it every day, _Heda_.” Lincoln says sarcastically.

Lexa rolls her eyes and goes to leave but pauses, turning her attention to Raven, “Oh, and Reyes? As much as it pains me to say this, if anyone was to be a Godparent to my offspring, you and Anya wouldn’t even make it onto the list. At least with Lincoln and Octavia, I could die with some sense of knowing that my child is in safe hands.”

“Yes!” Octavia says, high-fiving Lincoln. “If Clarke and Lexa die, we get to watch over their love child!” She looks to Raven, “Suck my dick, bitch.”

“Clarke hasn’t chosen yet!” Raven says, trying for one final attempt. “Come on, I’m not _that_ bad. I only blow up things every once in a while.”

“That’s reason enough.” Clarke says, standing up; “Rae, you know I love you more than anything in this world, right? You’re my ride or die…”

“Hey!” Octavia says, crossing her arms over her chest. “What about me?”

“Shut up, O.” Clarke says, waving her off. She looks back at Raven, “You’re gonna be a great aunt but if for some reason Lexa and I die and we need someone to take care of our baby, Lincoln and Octavia are the better option. We won’t have to worry about them blowing up our baby.”

“Wait, you were serious?” Octavia asks, happy once again. “Like, we’re really going to be the Godparents? All joking aside?”

“Lex picked Lincoln a few weeks ago and I chose you.” Clarke says, “We’ve been wanting to talk to you about it for the longest time but you know, things came up. So, what do you say?”

“Hell yes!” Lincoln answers for them. “Well in that case, you two can be the Godparents to our kids in the very, _very_ distant future.”

“Like the very far future, like ten years from now.” Octavia adds.

“You’re all assholes.” Raven says, although she doesn’t mean it. “I won’t have to be super careful or stop my experiments, so I’m okay.”

“Really?” Clarke asks, clearly nervous that she upset her friend.

“I promise, Griff.” Raven says, “I barely take care of myself, I’m honestly the last person you want your kid with.”

“Alright, now that that’s taken care of, I’m gonna go take a shower.” Lexa says, making herself known once again, “I’ll be out soon.”

“Why don’t you go join her?” Raven says, wagging her eyebrows at Clarke once she thinks Lexa is out of earshot. “I’m sure she’d like that.”

“You’re an asshole.” Clarke says, throwing a stray pillow at her.

0o0o0

“How do you like it so far?” Aden asks Clarke a few days later, as she sits down at the kitchen table for breakfast. “You know, being here.”

“It’s different.” Clarke says, stifling back a yawn. “Very quiet; a lot more alone time then I would’ve ever gotten at my parent’s house. I was kind of expecting your sister to suffocate me but she’s actually given me my space.”

“The real Lexa comes out when other people aren’t around.” Aden says, tossing Clarke a granola bar, knowing that’s all she eats. “Everyone thinks she’s some stuck-up asshole 99.9% of the time but in all honesty, she’s just a tiny gay mouse. I hope you know she doesn’t expect anything out of you moving in with us, she really wants what’s best for you and the baby.”

“I know.” Clarke says, giving him a smile. “She’s being the…”

“I hope you aren’t only eating that.” Lexa says, walking into the room and unintentionally interrupting the blonde. “Clarke, what did your mother tell you just the other day? You have to eat better.”

“But I’m not that hungry.” Clarke whines, a pout forming on her lips. “I’ve never really ate breakfast; I shouldn’t have to just because I’m pregnant.”

“It’s not about you, remember?” Lexa says, shoving a banana into her hands. “Eat this as well and I won’t say anything.”

“Promise?” Clarke asks. “Cause yesterday…”

“I promise.” Lexa says, holding out her pinky for emphases. “Come on, if you don’t believe me; I don’t break pinky promises.”

Clarke rolls her eyes at the childish behavior but complies, wrapping her own pinky around the soccer captain’s, “I’ll hold you to this forever.”

“I’m counting on it.” Lexa says, grabbing a protein shake from the fridge. “Aden, you aren’t bothering Clarke, are you? You used to talk Costia’s ear off when we were together and… Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You… You said her name.” Aden says, dumbfounded. “You just said her name and didn’t think anything of it. Oh my God, Lexie!”

“Lexie?” Clarke looks to Lexa, clearly amused. “That’s adorable.”

“Aden, I’m going to kill you!” Lexa seethes, “I hate that nickname!”

Aden holds up his hand, pausing his older sister in her tracks. “You can pummel me later, okay? Right now, we need to talk about Costia and how it doesn’t bother you anymore! When did this happen! Every time I brought up her name you would try to strangle me!”

“I’ve said her name plenty of times.” Lexa says, taking a sip of her shake. “Her existence and what she did to me simply doesn’t bother me anymore.”

Aden runs over to her and hugs her tightly, “Can I tell you a secret?”

“What?” Lexa asks, patting his back.

“I always thought you could do better.” Aden leans up on his tiptoes, not quite able to reach Lexa’s height just yet; “Clarke, Clarke is better.”

Lexa pulls away with a blush and glances at Clarke, who sends her a smile; Aden couldn’t have been any louder, “Thanks kid.”

“I’m just glad you knocked her up instead of that slut.”

“ADEN!” Lexa says, choking her on drink. “Don’t talk like that!”

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” Aden says, holding his hands up in defense; he looks at Clarke. “Please don’t let her kill me; I think she’ll listen to you.”

“Don’t bring Clarke into this!” Lexa says, flicking him on the forehead. “She might be living with us but that doesn’t mean she needs to be getting involved in our antics! She is carrying a precious Woods baby!”

“You’re so pretentious.” Aden scoffs; he looks at Clarke, “I’m sorry your stuck with her. I take back all that I said earlier about her.”

“What do you mean you ‘take back all that you said earlier’, dickhead.” Lexa asks, following him out of the kitchen and into the foyer. “You better not be telling lies to Clarke, I just got back into her good graces.”

“He didn’t say anything too bad.” Clarke says, a smile playing at her lips as she walks in behind them. “Just told me a few of your deepest secrets.”

“You know how you were so excited to be an uncle?”

Aden nods, his eyes widening, “I, uh, yeah.”

“Well, it’s not gonna happen.” Lexa says, dropping her bag to the floor.

“Why not?” Aden asks, taking a step back.

“Because you’re not gonna be here!” Lexa says, about to charge after him.

“Let’s not kill anyone today.” Clarke says, wrapping her arms around the brunette’s waist, keeping her in place. “I’d rather not have our child have to visit you in prison ever Sunday for manslaughter.”

“That’s only if someone finds his body!” Lexa says but relaxes into Clarke anyway, “Okay, fine, I’ll let him have this one. That better, Griff?”

“Much.” Clarke says, letting her go. “Let’s go; we’re gonna be late.”

0o0o0

Clarke rolls out bed several weeks later, cursing under her breath when she accidentally trips over a pair of jeans she left laying around on the floor. She quietly makes her way into the hall and into the room across from her that she finds herself in more often then not. Without a word, she crawls under the covers, unable to keep the smile off her face when she feels movement next to her followed by strong arms circling her waist.

“It’s like the fourth time this week.” Lexa mumbles, voice laced with sleep as she buries her face into Clarke’s neck.

“What is?” Clarke asks, absentmindedly curling further into her.

“You in here.” Lexa says, glancing up at her momentarily.

“I can’t sleep.” Clarke says, a blush forming on her cheeks.

“So you come in here and wake me up instead?”

Clarke frowns, “I can go back to my room.”

Lexa tightens her hold, “Don’t. I was only kidding, Clarke.”

“Are you sure?” Clarke says, “It’s not like we’re together or…”

“We’re figuring things out.” Lexa says, her voice hoarse. “You aren’t bothering me, I promise. If you’re more comfortable here, then that’s okay.”

“You’re not lying to me?” Clarke asks, still unsure.

“Of course not.” Lexa says, “Go to sleep.”

“You know, your kind of adorable when your sleepy.”

“Griffin?”

“I think we’re past the last names, don’t you? I mean, I am carrying your child after all.” Clarke jokes as she turns on her side.

“I have practice in like three hours.”

“Who’s fault is that?” Clarke asks, rhetorically. “Your captain must be an asshole, making you get up so early on a Saturday.”

“You have no idea.” Lexa says, “Goodnight.”

“Spoilsport.” Clarke huffs. “Fine, Goodnight Lex.”

Lexa is nearly asleep a few minutes later when she feels something hit her stomach over and over again; she sighs in defeat and looks at Clarke, “Alright, what is it now?”

Clarke, who has spent the last few seconds trying to get comfortable, pauses to give Lexa a confused look, “What? I didn’t do anything.”

“You hit me.” Lexa pouts. “I was almost asleep.”

“Lexa, that wasn’t me.” Clarke says, trying to hold back her laugh.

“Well unless Aden is invisible and between us then…”

Clarke reaches blindly for Lexa’s hand and places it on her bump after she finds it, “It wasn’t me.” She repeats, “It was the baby.”

Lexa’s eyes widened, “It- I, they move?”

“For a while now, yeah.” Clarke says. “I thought you knew.”

Lexa shakes her head, “No, I didn’t.”

“They move a lot when they hear your voice.” Clarke says, “I’m surprised this is the first time you’ve felt any movement. It happens all the time.”

“This is amazing.” Lexa says, blinking back tears; she moves her fingers along Clarke’s stomach, “Does it hurt?”

“I’m used to it.” Clarke tells her. “At first it was uncomfortable but I wouldn’t say that it ever hurt me; it’s nice to feel them.”

“Thank you.” Lexa says, her voice cracking towards the end.

Clarke raises an eyebrow in question, although the brunette can’t really make out her features, “What’d I do?”

“You gave me a family.” Lexa says, “No matter what happens between us we’re always going to be a part of each others lives. I don’t know, I guess I’m just grateful for you.”

“That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” Clarke says, swallowing the lump in her throat. “You know, it does take two people to make a baby, I didn’t just do this myself.”

Lexa rolls her eyes and scoffs, “Way to ruin the moment, Clarke.”

Clarke reaches forward and presses a kiss to her cheek. “Sorry. Do you think you can ever forgive me?”

“I’ll have to think about it.” Lexa says as she looks at the clock on her nightstand; she sighs. “I hate myself.”

“I told you it was a terrible idea to have practice so early.”

“Yeah, well, it wouldn’t have been such a problem if someone hadn’t kept me up for half the night.” Lexa says, yawning. “Go to bed.”

Clarke snuggles into Lexa, “As you wish, _Commander_.”

0o0o0

“This is stupid.” Lexa says, crossing her arms over her chest in frustration, “I thought this was just for the mothers.”

“Not anymore.” Raven says, tossing a rattle at the jock. “Besides, you technically are a mother, so you need to be here.”

“I’d rather be anywhere else.” Lexa says, stuffing the rattle into a box. “Why am I helping set up anyways? If this is for me too, why am I here?”

“You don’t care.” Octavia says, adjusting a tablecloth. “Clarke does.”

“I just don’t see the fun in this.” Lexa says, “Everyone comes to gossip and play the worst games ever created. It’s horrendous to think about.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Abby says, walking into the room with the cake. “People bring gifts too. It’s fun, I promise.”

“I don’t see how.” Lexa whispers as she tosses the rattle onto the table. “When is everyone supposed to be here again?”

“Thirty minutes, Woods.” Raven says, “We’ve told you three times.”

“So I can’t go for a run?”

“No.” Octavia says, “You’re making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. It’ll be two hours tops, I think you’ll survive.”

“I don’t know like anyone that’s going to be here.” Lexa says.

“Is someone nervous?” Abby teases.

“N- no, I’m not. I just….” Lexa clenches her jaw. “I’m gonna go and wait for Clarke to return home. You three are too much.”

“We’ll be here!” Octavia yells after her as she leaves the room. “Try not to miss us while you’re gone, Cap!”

“Children.” Lexa mumbles as she makes her way out of the den and onto the porch outside to wait for Clarke and Aden to return from the mall.

“Lex, what’re you doing out here?”

Lexa jumps, having not noticed the presence of anyone else; she looks up to find Clarke looking down at her, “Oh, you’re back!”

“I am.” Clarke nods in agreement. “So, why are you out here. It’s cold.”

“I was waiting for you.” Lexa says, standing up. “Where’s Aden?”

“He already went inside, you completely ignored him.”

“Oops.” Lexa says, a guilty look on her face. “Did you have fun?”

“I did!” Clarke says, “I got a few things for the baby too.”

Lexa smiles at her statement, “Can I see?”

“Maybe later.” Clarke says, passing the brunette and heading towards the door. “You want to come in with me? My feet hurt.”

“Here, let me.” Lexa says, taking the few bags from Clarke’s hands. “I hope Aden didn’t annoy you too much.”

“Not at all.” Clarke says, “He’s super sweet, actually.”

Lexa pauses to look at the blonde, “We’re talking about my brother?”

“Obviously.” Clarke says, making her way up the stairs. “I love him.”

“Clearly we have different ideas of what love means.” Lexa says, following Clarke into her bedroom. “The kid is a nuisance.”

“You’d die for him.” Clarke states, matter of fact.

“In a heartbeat.” Lexa agrees, “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to strangle him at times.”

“So, why are my two best friends and mother here?” Clarke asks, pulling her shirt off and changing into one of Lexa’s hoodies.

“What do you mean? They aren’t here.” Lexa tries to play off but knows she failed miserable when Clarke gives her a look. “I can’t tell you.”

“Baby shower?”

“Yep.”

0o0o0

“Lex, look!” Clarke says, holding up a onesie a little while later, “It has your number on it and everything! I didn’t notice it earlier.”

“It is kind of adorable.” Lexa admits as she continues to look through the gifts they had gotten that afternoon at the baby shower. “Who knew our friends had good taste. I was afraid we were gonna have to dress our child up in the worst things, to be honest.”

“I think my mom helped picked most of it out.” Clarke says, “I know damn well Jasper didn’t pick out half the clothes he bought.”

“Octavia went a little crazy; she didn’t have to do that.” Lexa says, “She literally had to of bought the entirety of Babies R Us.”

“She’s excited.” Clarke says, folding up a onesie. “She’s one of the most caring people I’ve ever met and she loves to give, always expecting nothing in return. I love her for it.”

“Did you have a good time?” Lexa asks.

“Of course!” Clarke says, “You did too, don’t lie.”

“Maybe a little.” Lexa says, “Only because of you though; who knew you could get any cuter.” She pauses, a blush forming on her cheeks. “I, uh…”

“Don’t take it back.” Clarke says, squeezing her hand. “Thank you, for this.”

“I didn’t do anything.” Lexa says. “I basically sat there.”

“Yes but I know you hate things like that but you did it anyways.” Clarke says, “I, as well as our child, appreciate your sacrifices.”

“You’re being a smartass.”

“I never thought I’d see the day that Alexandria Woods, resident badass and soccer captain, join in on baby games.” Clarke says, with a smirk. “I have video proof so don’t even try to deny it.”

“Clarke!” Lexa pouts. “You said you wouldn’t record stuff!”

“I lied.” Clarke shrugs, indifferent. “So, you really think we’re gonna have a boy?”

“I do, yes.” Lexa says, sitting down on the bed. “You?”

“I think we’re gonna have a little girl.” Clarke says, placing a hand on her bump, “I don’t know why but I do. Mothers intuition I guess?”

“Ten bucks says you’re wrong.”

“We are not betting on the gender of our baby.” Clarke says, sitting beside the older girl; she rests her head on her shoulder. “We have an appointment next week; do you want us to wait or find out?”

“Do you really think I’m patient enough to wait?” Lexa asks.

“You waited over a month to confront me about being pregnant.”

“That was different, I was just being considerate.” Lexa says, “I’d like to find out though, if that’s okay with you.”

Clarke sighs in relief, “Oh thank God, it’s been driving me crazy!”

“Me too.” Lexa says, “Then we can start thinking of names and finally stop calling our child ‘it’ and ‘them’. Kind of disrespectful if you ask me.”

“I’m sure the baby doesn’t mind.” Clarke says, standing back up. “Come on, these gifts are gonna put themselves away.” 


	10. Holding On To You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments, subscriptions and kudos, it means a lot to me.

“Come on, we’ve been waiting six months for this shit!” Raven yells from one of the picnic tables outside in the backyard. “You found out like three weeks ago, it’s time for you to tell us!”

“If you’ll wait just a damn minute.” Clarke says, sighing in frustration.

“Someone’s in a mood.” Raven mumbles.

Octavia elbows her roughly in the stomach, “Shut up, Rae.”

“This is the most dramatic gender reveal I’ve ever been to.” Raven says as she idly picks at some confetti on the table.

“This is the first one you’ve ever been too.” Abby says from beside her. “They’re just trying to make it fun for everyone, give them a minute.”

“It’s been ten minutes.” Raven says, “I want cake.”

“There isn’t any cake.” Jasper says. “I already asked.”

“What!” Raven practically yells, “Griff, you lied to me!”

“Aden made cupcakes.” Lexa says, “You can have them after.”

“Oh, thank God.” Raven says, sighing in relief. “I was about to seriously question your ways of throwing a party. First no alcohol and then no cake?”

“Anya, control your girl.” Lincoln calls from across the yard. “I give it about five seconds before Clarke pummels her.”

“Clarke would never…”

“Alright.” Lexa says, turning to give everyone her full attention as she intentionally cuts off Raven. “I think we’re ready.”

“I’m so excited!” Octavia says, nearly jumping out of her seat.

Lexa hands Clarke a pint of paint as well as taking one for herself before revealing the blank canvas the blonde set up moments prior, “I’ll admit, Clarke, your idea was so much better than mine.”

“They would’ve killed each other if we went with the paintball guns.” Clarke says, taking the lid off and setting it on the picnic table. “Ready?”

“Of course.” Lexa says, giving her a small smile, “You?”

“Oh, stop with the heart eyes and just tell us already!”

“On the count of three?” Clarke asks, excitement coursing through her veins; she already knows the gender but the thought of her friends and family’s reactions is something of it’s own accord.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

Clarke and Lexa simultaneously throw their pints full of paint onto the canvas, turning the once white material into a bright blue. They barely have time to set their cans down before they’re being wrapped up in a crowd of people; congratulations coming from every direction.

“Oh my Jesus!” Octavia says, pulling Clarke and Lexa into a bone-crushing hug neither of them thought she had the strength for, “You have no idea how happy I am for you! This kid is gonna be so fuckin’ spoiled!”

“Congratulations, baby girl.” Jake says, pulling Clarke away from the rowdy group and over to one of the picnic tables. “How are you?”

“I’m fine.” Clarke says, a huge smile on her face. “I miss you guys.”

“We miss you too, sweetie.” Abby says, making her way over to them. “How are things here? Do you like it okay?”

“Lexa is perfect.” Clarke says, glancing momentarily at the girl in question. “I thought it was going to take a while to adjust but she made me feel right at home by the following morning. She’s always there for me when I need her, it’s nice to have that.”

“I’m glad you’re happy then.” Jake says, “So, a boy, huh?”

“Yep.” Clarke says, rocking back on her heels. “At least that’s what Niylah assumes; she still says there’s a possibility that he might have Lexa’s condition but she doesn’t think so.”

“You’ve gotta start thinking of names.” Abby says, “You only have a few more months left to figure things out.”

“Don’t worry, we will.” Clarke says, “Lexa would hardly let our child come into this world without a name, she wouldn’t dream of it.”

“What wouldn’t I dream of?” Lexa asks, coming to a stop next to the blonde. “I’m sorry to interrupt but your delinquent group of friends want to see you as soon as possible.”

“Nothing.” Clarke says, answering her question. “Give me a minute?”

“Of course.” Lexa says, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She looks at Jake and Abby, “We were gonna order some pizza for dinner, you’re more than welcome to stay if you’d like.”

“Go spend time with them.” Abby says, nodding towards the children she thinks of as her own. “We’ll be here, don’t worry.”

“Griff, come here!” Raven yells from Anya’s shoulders.

Clarke rolls her eyes at her childish friend but complies anyways; she makes her way back over to the group, “What do you want, Rae?”

“Lexa is the biggest lesbian in the world and you hardly know how to handle a boy, how in the fuck are you supposed to raise one?” Raven asks, a smirk playing at her lips.

“Well, I do have a penis myself.” Lexa deadpans, “I’m sure I can handle it.”

Clarke wraps her arms around the brunette, sighing in content when the older girl does the same. She doesn’t even think twice about the slightly confused looks she’s getting from their friends, “I think we’ll be fine.”

“Have you thought of any names yet?” Octavia asks, clearly too excited to discuss anything else at the moment. “Oh please, tell me!”

“We’ve looked some up but we haven’t really found anything.” Clarke says, “As soon as we figure it out though, we’ll let you know.”

“Linc, I want one!” Octavia whines, looking up at her boyfriend.

Lincoln’s eyes widen, “Can we get through college first?”

“Obviously.” Octavia says, “I’m not stupid, you know.”

“Hey!” Clarke says, kicking the girl. “Don’t be an asshole.”

“You know I love you.” Octavia says, pulling her into another hug. “Seriously, we need to go shopping this weekend; there is so much stuff I want to get for the little guy and you just have to let me.”

“You’ll have to ask Lexa first.” Clarke says, “She’s been coming home almost everyday for the past two weeks with boxes out the ass full of baby supplies. I don’t know if she’ll let anyone else contribute.”

“I’m sure she’ll survive.” Octavia waves her off. “What kind of aunt would I be if I didn’t spend every dime I have on a Griffin baby.”

“Woods.”

“What?” Octavia pauses. “Wait. He’ll have Lexa’s last name?”

Clarke nods, “Yep, I think so.”

“If that’s not the cutest thing ever!” Octavia says, “Honestly, who knew an accidental teenage pregnancy could be the best thing to ever happen to us!”

0o0o0

“Clarke, can you get the door?” Lexa asks from the kitchen, too occupied with dinner to answer it herself. “Please!”

“Sure!” Clarke yells back to her. She throws the blanket off her body and makes her way into the foyer, opening the door. “Yes?”

“Delivery for Lexa Woods?”

“Oh, yes, that’s us.” Clarke says, eyeing the large box at the UPS driver’s feet. “Do I need to sign for anything?”

“Nope. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Clarke waves the older man off and bends down to try and attempt to bring the box into the house but stills when she feels arms around her waist, “Lex?”

“What do you think you’re doing, Griff?”

“Well I’m not about to leave it outside.”

“It’s heavy.” Lexa says, moving the blonde. “I’ve got it.”

“What is it?” Clarke asks, watching as Lexa pulls the large box into the house and into the living room. “It’s huge.”

“The crib.” Lexa says, nonchalant. “I had them ship it overnight.”

Clarke sits back down on the couch, taken aback. “You got a crib?”

“Yeah.” Lexa says, grabbing a pair of scissors to open the box, “I’m pretty sure it’s the one you’ve been wanting. It had great reviews on Amazon.”

“Oh my God!” Clarke gasps as Lexa opens the box all the way, revealing the chocolate colored crib; the one Clarke had on her wish list. “Lex, this is like a two-thousand-dollar crib!”

“That it is.” Lexa says as she double checks to make sure everything is intact and came the way it was supposed to. “You left your computer open the other day and I saw that you’ve viewed it several times. Did I pick the correct color and everything? I mean, if this wasn’t the right once we can ship it back no problem.”

“No, this- this is perfect.” Clarke says, tearing up. “Thank you.”

Lexa smiles triumphantly, “It’s easy to assemble and take apart so when we have to move into the apartment in a few months, it won’t be a huge thing to deal with. You’re sure this is the right one?”

Clarke nods, “It is, yes; though you could’ve gotten a much cheaper one and I would’ve been just as happy.”

“No child of mine will spend a majority of their time in something mediocre; it has to be the best of the best.” Lexa states. “We don’t have much left to get, just car seats for our cars, strollers and a few odds and ends; I figured we could make a day out of it tomorrow.”

“Wow, you’re actually letting me tag along?” Clarke asks, playfully.

Lexa pauses, a look of panic on her face, “Wait, did you want to do all of this with me? Clarke, why didn’t you tell me? I can take everything back and we can go pick out things together.”

“No, Lexa, I’m just messing with you.” Clarke says. “I’m actually relieved that you’re taking care of all of this; just the thought of it overwhelms me. Not to mention, everything you’ve picked out is better than anything I ever thought to get. I love all that you’ve chosen, I promise.”

“You’re sure?”

Clarke nods, “I wouldn’t lie to you, I’ve learned my lesson.”

Lexa sighs in relief and falls onto the empty space beside the blonde, resting her head on her shoulder, “In three months, we’re going to have a living, breathing human-being that we’re gonna have to take care of.”

“For eighteen years too.” Clarke says. “No take backs.”

“Never.” Lexa says, patting Clarke’s leg, “Dinner’s ready, are you hungry?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

0o0o0

“I get that we both need a car seat amongst other things but did we really have to double up on every god damn thing we bought?” Clarke asks, following Lexa into the house and up the stairs.

“Yes.” Lexa says, making her way into the guess room where she’s been keeping all of the baby supplies. “You never know what you’re going to need or when you’re gonna run out of it. Better safe then sorry.”

“I can barely see the floor, Lex.” Clarke points out. “Don’t you think you’ve gone a little overboard? You’re spending too much money.”

“I could never. “Lexa says, setting several bags off into the corner. “Once the baby is born, I figured this could be their room. We are gonna be here for five or so months before we go off to school, is this alright?”

“You’ve really thought about everything, haven’t you?”

“I’m a Woods, we’re always prepared.”

“If that’s the case, how I’d end up pregnant?” Clarke asks.

Lexa narrows her eyes at her, “I was drunk, that doesn’t count.”

“I think it does though.” Clarke says, sitting down in the rocking-chair Lexa had set up a week before. “We barely ever used condoms because somebody always forgot them at home. So, I think you’re wrong.”

“I’ll agree to disagree, then.” Lexa says, sitting on the floor. “We should probably start unpacking all of this, don’t you think? I can at least set up the crib and the changing table tonight, maybe a few other things.”

“Can I help?” Clarke asks.

“What do you think?” Lexa asks, giving her a look. “You, Clarke Griffin, whether pregnant or not, should never put things together. Octavia has told me several things about your childhood; and how you’re still alive baffles me, if I’m being honest.”

“It was one time and the bookshelf I bought was broken!” Clarke huffs. “It wasn’t my fault; I did everything right!”

“Sure you did, sweetheart.” Lexa says, pushing several boxes in the younger girl’s direction, “You can deal with the small stuff.”

“I hate you.” Clarke says, “I can handle more than clothes.”

“I want you safe, okay?” Lexa says, starting on the bigger things. “I’d rather not have to stop every five seconds to check on you because I’m too worried about you. Can I have this, please?”

Clarke feels her heart skip a beat at the comment; she nods, “Small stuff.”

“Thank you.” Lexa says, squeezing her knee affectionately.

0o0o0

“Alexander?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I already have like three Alexander’s in my family.”

“It’s the male version of your name, isn’t that cute?”

“Adorable.”

“Lexa, be serious.”

Lexa, who is setting another screw in place on the crib looks over at the blonde, “Clarke, I am being serious. What else do you have?”

Clarke flips to the next page of her notebook, “Henry?”

Lexa snorts, “Fuck no.”

“What’s the matter with Henry?”

“Henry Sykes kissed you under the tree on the playground when we were in first grade and every time I hear that name I think of that.” Lexa says, shrugging. “Besides, it’s an overused name.”

“Wait, hold on a second.” Clarke says, “You’re jealous of a boy I kissed ten years ago? If that isn’t the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Jealous isn’t the word I would use.” Lexa says, “Next name.”

“Lexa Woods, have you had a crush on me this entire time?” Clarke asks, biting her lip to keep from laughing. “Oh my God, you so did.”

“I was six.” Lexa says, “I would hardly consider that a crush.”

“You were a lesbian before you even knew what the word meant.” Clarke says, marking off the name on the list. “So, am I like an accomplish to you? Something you never thought you could achieve and now that you have, you can die happy?”

“You aren’t a goal, Clarke.” Lexa says, “I got lucky, is all.”

Clarke blinks, taken aback. “I uh, really?”

Lexa nods, her attention focused on the object in front of her, “Any other names, you know, ones that won’t make me despise my son?”

“Ethan.” Clarke pauses, “Don’t answer that, I know you hate it.”

“Right you are, Griff.” Lexa says, giving her a smile. “Next?”

“Audi?”

“Are we having a fucking car?” Lexa asks.

“I was kidding.” Clarke laughs. “You hate all mine; you have any ideas?”

“A few.” Lexa says, pulling her knees to her chest. “Finish yours first.”

“No, you go.” Clarke says, “You’ve been listening to me for hours.”

“I don’t mind, really.” Lexa says.

“Still, I want to hear some of your ideas.” Clarke says, “Tell me.”

“Oliver?”

“Maybe for a pet.”

“Liam?”

“I like it but give me more.”

“Greyson?” Lexa says, “Grey for short?”

Clarke presses a palm to her stomach, feeling a small kick, “Possibly.”

“Owen?” Lexa asks.

“Overused.” Clarke says, “What else?”

“Elijah?” Lexa says, “I’ve always loved that name.”

“I think we have a winner.” Clarke says, a small smile on her face. “I think the little guy likes it, he’s kicking like crazy.”

“Really, you mean it?”

“It was on my list.” Clarke says, pointing to a name on the notebook. “Little Eli, I love it!  Did you have any more?”

“That was about it.” Lexa says, “So Elijah?”

“Elijah Gabriel Woods.” Clarke says, after a moment.

“Jake’s middle name?”

“Is that okay?” Clarke asks, hesitant. “Or would you like to use another?”

“It’s beautiful, Clarke.” Lexa says, leaning to press a kiss to her ever-growing stomach, “Our little Eli.”

0o0o0

“Did you even have breakfast?” Clarke asks, walking into the room the following morning, freshly showered. “You’ve been at it all morning.”

“I’m not hungry.” Lexa says, her focus on the dresser. “I just want to finish this first.”

“You’ve been working on the nursery nonstop for the past three days.” Clarke says, sitting down on the rocking-chair. “You don’t have to do it all at once, you know, we still have quite a while.”

“We don’t know that.” Lexa says, wiping the sweat from her face. “He could come early and then we wouldn’t be prepared for him. I’d rather get it done now and not have to worry about it then do it last minute.”

“I love you.”

Lexa pauses, nearly dropping the screwdriver in her hand as the words reach her ears, “Clarke…”

“I know I don’t deserve you…”

“Do you- Do you mean it?” Lexa asks, voice small. “You love me?”

Clarke feels her heart break at the softness in Lexa’s words, “Come here.”

Lexa tosses the metal tool carelessly onto the floor before making her way over to the blonde, obviously shy. “I… uh… I don’t.””

“I wish things would’ve never gotten so terrible between us.” Clarke says, taking Lexa’s hands into her own. “I knew the real you, the one you didn’t show anyone else, even after our first time. You come off as though you don’t care but you care more than anyone I’ve ever met. You let me take my anger and sadness out on you, you’re there for me whenever I need you and not once have you asked for anything in return. I kept our baby from you and I let my friends morph you into something that I knew wasn’t true and even after all the horrible shit I put you through, you were right there waiting for me although I didn’t deserve it.”

“That isn’t…”

“Let me finish, please.” Clarke says, “You pushed your feelings to the side and stood by me when I finally got my head out of my own ass when you should’ve ignored me. I fell for you so fast and I got scared because every time I think something good in my life is going to happen or that someone is going to stay, I always end up being wrong. I’m a bitch; I’m stubborn and careless and so self involved sometimes that I don’t realize that I’m hurting the people around me and that’s exactly what I was doing to you.”

“I wasn’t the best person either, Clarke.” Lexa says, blinking back tears. “Maybe if I would’ve been up front with you in the beginning, things would’ve have gotten so shitty between us.”

“I don’t want to think back on the past anymore.” Clarke says, “Maybe things happened the way they did for a reason. Maybe if we would’ve been adults about everything we wouldn’t be where we are right now, happy and about to have a baby. I know we caused each other a lot of heartache and I know we can’t take back all the things that happened between us but if we hadn’t gone through all that we did, we might not be here. Our plans have been thrown off course and our entire life is not how we expected it to be but none of that matters to me anymore, as long as I have you.”

“So, it only took me knocking you up and us fighting so much that we almost lost each other for you to finally admit that you love me?”

Clarke slaps her shoulder, laughing through her tears, “You’re an ass.”

“I love you, Clarke.” Lexa says, “Fuck, I’ve been wanting to say that to you for months.”

“Really?” Clarke asks, eyes wide.

“I was gonna tell you at the party.” Lexa says, referring to the night Clarke found out she was pregnant. “You were so angry with me so I didn’t.”

“Lex, I never meant for any of that to happen.” Clarke says, “I had just found out and I was so upset and I was so sure you were going to deny anything ever happened between…”

“I would never.” Lexa says, matter of fact. “I’m not upset. You were going through the scariest moment of your life, I get that.”

“I still didn’t have a right to treat you like that.”

“I wasn’t not guilty either.” Lexa says, “I purposely pissed you off.”

“Just a little bit, yeah.” Clarke says, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

“I would wait forever for you.” Lexa admits. “Whether we were having the baby or not, it wouldn’t have changed how I felt about you.”

“Really?”

“What can I say, I’m a sucker for stubborn blondes with blue eyes that pull me in every time.” Lexa shrugs. “If I couldn’t love you as a lover, I would have loved you as a friend.”

“Can you love me as both?”

“Anything for you, love.” Lexa says, reaching up to wipe Clarke’s tears from her eyes. “We learned a lot and I’m grateful for that.”

“So, does this mean you’ll go on dates with me and stuff?”

“Well, are you asking me on one?”

“… Yes.”

“I’ll still get a baby out of this if I say no, right?”

“Lexa!”

“Kidding. Kidding.” Lexa says, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Of course I’ll go on a date with you, Griffin. It only took getting you pregnant to ask me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ride isn't over yet, I promise. Subscribe to the series and look out for the second part to this story; the first part should be out fairly soon. It won't be in chapters but one shots, so with that being said if you have any ideas of one shots you'd like me to do just leave a comment. Thanks again and much love.


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